Sometimes, interesting parallels emerge in Go Ask Daddy questions.
They’re chosen at random. From a list of about 200. When the first two contained the words “alcoholic drink” and “crack cocaine,” I began to question the universe. Namely, what is intends for me. Then, more pressing … did my girls ask these questions, really?
Every week, I try to pick out five questions the girls asked (over years and years) to answer in this space right here. To continue the controversy, the Dallas Cowboys appeared on this list, too. And a doozy of a fifth question. Check it out.
But let’s be honest: The pandemic has me spending a tad more impossible income on spirits. I was disappointed the ABC store sold me a bottle of rum and tequila but didn’t serve them to me in paper sacks.
But it has cachaça, which isn’t on my Walmart pickup list. The Cherry Bourbon Smash sounds like it should have a holiday named after it. I learned a lot reading about this Easy Cherry Lemonade – and it just made me thirsty.
Hayden has extensive knowledge of drugs, thanks to a high school course. She rattles off facts about cannabis, ecstasy, and hallucinogens the way I did about Ankylosaurus, Stegosaurus, Triceratops back in the day.
Cocaine comes in both powder and rock, kind of like there’s a Triceratops and a Zuniceratops which look similar.
They call it cocaine or coke when it’s a powder, and crack or crack cocaine as the rock. I looked up how it’s made, and I won’t go into it in detail, but it sounds a little like how you make rock candy. Which is kinda messed up.
They call it crack because it crackles when it’s cooked.
It’s pretty highly concentrated, so it’s possible to get addicted with just one dose. If you or someone you know might have questions about addiction, they can call the American Addiction Centers at 888-969-0144.
3. Why are they in church on Saturday?
Maybe they lost track of what day it is like I have.
More likely, they’re Seventh Day Adventists. They consider Saturday the sabbath, not Sunday. While some Christians go to church on Sunday, others consider it a true day of rest – like, you can even sleep in on Sunday mornings. I like that.
It’s like those calendars that sometimes start on Sunday, sometimes start on Monday.
Some Jewish folks have services on Saturday, too. Some Christians say they should church on Sunday because that’s the day of the week of Jesus’ resurrection. I was just a boy then, so I’m not positive.
In 321, Roman Emperor Constantine said everyone should rest on Sunday, which is why that’s the one day of the week I won’t clock in for anyone.
4. Who was the guy who jumped into the Salvation Army bucket?
It wasn’t Constantine (because it was on a Sunday.)
That distinction goes to Dallas Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott. He hopped into an oversized Salvation Army kettle at AT&T Stadium after a rushing touchdown against Tampa Bay. What a donation
I’ve written negatively about Elliott on this very blog, but I also don’t believe in condemning anyone for life because of something they did or allegedly did.
Elliott has a childlike view of the game that I totally appreciate. He leaped into the kettle and it gave the Salvation Army a good bit of playtime. He wasn’t fined for this, and I agree with that. Donations spiked after his leap, and Zeke made a donation of his own.
The Salvation Army said it got $850,000 in online donations after that – which would buy 91,000 meals for those in need.
5. Why does ‘fine’ sometimes mean something great, like fine dining, and sometimes just so-so-, like, ‘you did fine’?
One thing I’ve learned as a man is that ‘fine’ has a ton of meanings and connotations. You mentioned fine dining – that’s elegant. Think white tablecloths and prices in tiny print on a menu. ‘You did fine’ is the other end of the spectrum – like, meh.
If you say “that girl’s fiiiine,” it means something – and when you do it in front of your significant other, and aren’t talking about her, you might be told that everything is ‘fine.’
I’d rather just PAY a fine for my mistake. It’s a fine line between just appreciating the human form in the form of your friendly neighborhood restaurant server, and committing a major infraction of … appreciating the wrong human form.
I’m not even kidding … this is a book review! And I read it all by myself.
Schooled: A Love Letter to the Exhausting, Infuriating, Occasionally Excruciating Yet Somehow Completely Wonderful Profession of Teaching
By Stephanie Jankowski
Stephanie, the loveable voice of the blog When Crazy meets Exhaustion, has written a book! She’s a long-time blogging friend of mine and I’ve loved her work for years.
Schooled is a collection of stories from the field. Her essays are humorous, sincere, and beckon to every crush on a teacher I ever had. As a dad of three kids, it gave me insight into what life is like on the other side of the desk.
I left school early for a job that sounded like a dream for me.
I got to cover the NFL and NBA (plus high school sports) for a tiny afternoon newspaper. I moved to Morganton, N.C. I slept in two three-hour shifts. One after my desk shift ended around midday.
The other, at night, after I filed my story from Hornets home games (Sometimes, I got up extra early to write instead.)
Rebecca Reid took a more global approach to that fresh-out-of-college job. She’s my guest for #GirlsRock today. I met Rebecca in Target during her 4-month stint in Charlotte. We became friends, and her story of success intrigued me.
I’ve pondered how to streamline my life. I’m working from home as many of us are. I’m struggling to find balance. I wake up every day encouraged that this will be different. Often, I go to sleep wondering where it went wrong.
See, I’m the same guy who has found success before.
Not success in dollar signs or prestige. In peace of mind. In the moment. In trusting that the process is the thing, in that I must keep my eyes and heart open. The stuff that makes the biggest difference are things I haven’t planned for. But you have to have an efficient way to get to those things.
Confession time: Do you know what the worst part about the #AtoZChallenge is?
It’s not remembering my ABCs. I was an English major, you know. It’s the pace of the thing when you don’t plan ahead enough. I’m behind in keeping up with the baddest (and I mean the baddest) Facebook blog group on the planet, too (the Peaceful Posse.)
I wonder how many people will go with COVID as their C word.
Or, coronavirus. It’s difficult for me to, even if I wanted to. Friday is my #GratitudeAndShit day, and pandemic viruses don’t make the cut. I am grateful, however, to have this new reality upon me. It’s not been easy, but there have been some pluses on small scales.
It’s exhausting to read post after post about how to work efficiently from home.
I haven’t found that. There are small gains. There’s stuff like birds on my bird feeder and tortilla chips in my pantry to serve enough distraction to get me off track. But I’m eating less fried food and takeout, more conscious that I’d better watch my intake.
Mine happened in middle school. It lasted on into high school, and, by great fortune, into adult life. My first exposure to The Temptations came with the Daryl Hall & John Oates album Live at the Apollo. I learned fast the history and prestige of playing that venue.
Hearing my favorite Rock N Soul duo mix it up with legends was priceless.
Temptations songs resonated with me at 12 (and 32, and 42) Just My Imagination was my theme song for those formative years. A girl made a mixtape for me with I Wish That It Would Rain on it and it took me a decade to understand what she was trying to say.
I thought, man, I’m gonna need, like, a month or two at home just to write the daggum posts to do this daggum challenge this year. Well, I thought that a few weeks ago. And then this coronavirus thing happened.
So there’s no excuse now.
If I craft a post every time I hear COVID-19, that’s enough for 37 Aprils. And have enough to let a blogger named April have 31 for her next A to Z Challenge. Honestly, I don’t have to write much, because the Challenge has become the Month of Purge for me.
I’m grateful for the chance to write again, to have the time freedom to devote energy to blogging and this universe. I’d like to take that a step further, and get back to those posts I’ve missed so much. Posting all the great #GirlsRocks interviews I’ve had lately is one.
But I miss the Go Ask Daddy posts, too.
The girls ask fewer questions these days, but we have a ton in reserve. I learn a lot doing those posts. And the mindful Monday posts I hate to call Mindful Monday posts, also. There’s a lot going on in my noggin and I love hearing what you have to say about it, too.