🐨 Go Ask Daddy About Living Arrangements, Crappy Classes and the Implications of Leap Day Birthdays

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Eli Pacheco

I’ve documented much of the less-than-stellar moments that pocked my college days.

GAD GRAPHICKnow what, though? It wasn’t all bad. Sure, I spent lots of time waiting for closing time at the campus Pizza Hut for free personal pan pizzas while I whiled away deadlines at the student newspaper. I slept more hours on Cone Center couches than attended labs.

And I missed out on the homecoming court because I was academically ineligible.

Academically ineligible! Not to run up and down the basketball court, but to stand on it, during halftime. There were also good moments in my nearly six years of collegiate life, not counting the time I got two Twixes out of a vending machine for 50 cents.

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Go Ask Daddy About Mall Magic, Portuguese Playas and Which Direction to Aim a Trunk

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photo credit: a small step for a Stormtrooper but a giant leap for Wikipedia (Explore) via photopin (license)

Cars play an interesting role in my life.

GAD GRAPHICMy friend Rob, so anti-Chevy, anti-Yankees, and anti-smoking that he would describe his own personal kryptonites (we fellows have many) would be a cute girl driving a Chevy, smoking, in a Yankees cap. So goes the ironies of life.

Cars have faces, both in front and back – and Grace will show us where else faces reside in a future (and possible recurring) guest post.

I’ll notice and acknowledge any other drivers of white Pontiac Grand-Ams, especially any dirtier than mine. I’ll still see on the road makes and models of loves had and lost. There’s so many of them. Why is that? Are there more, or are we conditioned to see them?

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Go Ask Daddy About Carolina Colleges, Wireless Wildernesses and the Roads to Somewhere

photo credit: Halloween 2012 via photopin (license)
photo credit: Halloween 2012 via photopin (license)

Hello, from sunny Cancun. Not actually Cancun as I start this post.

GAD GRAPHICI’m in the air above the ocean on the way to Cancun. It is 885 miles as the crow flies, although a crow would have dropped dead in the Gulf of Mexico by now. With 30 minutes until we land, and the scenery unchanged since I attempted to eat a veggie wrap for lunch, I snapped open the laptop to work ahead.

It’s a two-plus-hour flight, which is nuts. It’ll be a two-hour drive to see Elise next year at college.

She picked Florida schools from the start. I made her a deal; visit a school within one hour of Charlotte first. Then, pick one two hours away, then three. She bypassed my alma mater, UNC Charlotte, and chose Winthrop, in Rock Hill, S.C.

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Go Ask Daddy About Matchups, Deception and Chick Prevention

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photo credit: Don’t walk – Walk via photopin (license)

So, the girls and I lean right.

GAD GRAPHICAnd that’s not about when I take a corner too fast in the Pontiac. We’re conservative, yes, and by varying degrees. Elise is furthest right, retweeting ‘Merica tweets and wearing camo hoodies. Grace trends toward moderate, an 11-year-old Libertarian who wants fiscal responsibility and social equality.

Marie? She doesn’t even want to think about it.

I fall somewhere around Marco Rubio – or slightly left of him – on the spectrum. I volunteered for the Ben Carson campaign, because he sent me a bumper sticker. (I didn’t even get a Ben T-shirt, but I ganked a roll of Ben stickers. I should put them on eBay.)

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Go Ask Daddy About Click Bait, Songs to Rate and the Magic of Green (Screen)

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photo credit: Be unique! via photopin (license)

Man, the Internet.

GAD GRAPHICMan the kids on the Internet. One of my girls got thrown for a loop when, on an innocent Google search, she discovered photos of Britney Spears and Madonna – about to kiss. I know you have stories in your house, when the World Wide Web and your not-so-worldly kids collided.

Add in the clickbait factor, and, well, you’re in for a bucket and a half of trouble.

The teenagers asked for and got new devices for Christmas. Blue screens often light up their faces. They have that slack-jaw look about them, as they swipe and scroll through what I hope is just Instagram and I Funny. Maybe even a little Coach Daddy.

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Go Ask Daddy About Animal Sorts, Colossal Numerals and Bling on the Ballfield

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photo credit: The eye of admiration via photopin (license)

My girls go through stages.

GAD GRAPHICDon’t we all? Their stages, born of dreams, spurred the next stage, and the next. Lots of what they transition through gets its fuel from imagination. We should, at any age, allow imagination to lead the way sometimes.

Elise hunkered down between the couch and ottoman when she was a kid. “Daddy,” she called out. “Guess who I am?”

No idea, dear. Who are you?

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Go Ask Daddy About Water Lizards, Major-League Bubbles and the Prospects of Volatile Love

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photo by Grace

And so, this is Christmas.

GAD GRAPHICIt’s nearly 3 a.m. (now nearly 9), and I tried to pass of a post of finding the light of Christmas joy in the little things. But, I’ve always been honest with you here, right? I know others have it much rougher than I this holiday season, but the rough I know is rough enough.

It’s not just one single thing.

It’s okay for a Christmas to feel blue. I’ve just gotten through the eve part of it, so who knows what the actual Christmas Day will feel like.

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Go Ask Daddy About THAT Dress, 👗 His Continence and a Classic Look for a Snack

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photo credit: Kaws Darth Vader x Stormtrooper via photopin (license)

The closest anything comes to viral around here?

GAD GRAPHICThat time (actually two) I got sick at Christmas. Don’t cry for me, though. (I suffered through in silence and got to watch “Bandits” – Cate Blanchett and January Jones.)

By viral, I actually mean something that takes off and becomes mainstream in an instant. Sometimes, that’s not a good thing.

Star Wars, for instance.

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Go Ask Daddy About Ancestry, Zoology and What to do if Some !@$%! Rear-ends You

Flowers
photo credit: Quirky via photopin (license)

I can’t tell a Chrysanthemum from a carnation, guys.

GAD GRAPHICBut my friend Emily at Nerd in the Brain tossed up this Cool Weather Blooms challenge, and I took it – petal, stem and pistil. It’s part of her Go Play, Go Learn Challenge. I could be named Nerd of the Week (my kids will tell you I’m the all-time champion at that – and more).

I picked the three coolest flowers that bloom in the Carolina during winter. I found out they bloom in winter for many reasons, but it seems that mild Carolina winter sun and moist soil make for ideal conditions for some flowers.

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Go Ask Daddy About Berry Leaves, Mascot History and Hard Landings in Insurance Ads

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Thanksgiving messed with my head, y’all.

GAD GRAPHICI missed out on a chance to watch the Bears-Packers game in the best company while eating chicken wings, because I forgot there was a late Thanksgiving game. I don’t know where my phone charging cord is.

And at 1:37 a.m., I realized it’s Friday – time to answer your Go Ask Daddy questions.

Let’s see if I can finish this sucker. Fueled by two rows of monster KitKat and a good liter of Food Lion’s answer to Diet Mountain Dew, I at least have a puncher’s chance. I am feeling punchy, though.

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