Go Ask Daddy About Yardstick Physics, Post-Twister Finances and iPhone Hotbeds

photo credit: SimonDoggett via photopin cc
photo credit: SimonDoggett via photopin cc

It’s been about a year since the great yogurt incident.

See, I dropped my vintage flip phone into a small vat of vanilla yogurt. See what happens when I try to be healthy? I wanted a slice of meat-lover’s pizza. I went all yoga-Dr. Oz-Mr. Goodbody healthy.

And all I got was a lousy flip phone with a darkened screen.

The phone would have bounced right off the pizza slice.

Continue reading “Go Ask Daddy About Yardstick Physics, Post-Twister Finances and iPhone Hotbeds”

Gorton’s Giveaway: Teach a Man to (Cook) Fish, and He’ll Eat for a Lifetime

HMP
HMP

Hey you. Yeah, you.

The one with three dozen frozen caterpillars on a cookie sheet.

Oh. Those are fish sticks? My bad.

I used to be there, chum. I know it feels like purgatory, to dump out frozen chunks onto a cookie sheet and call it dinner. Some little kids won’t eat anything but the Holy Trinity of Tots: chicken nuggets, fish sticks, and mac & cheese.

Continue reading “Gorton’s Giveaway: Teach a Man to (Cook) Fish, and He’ll Eat for a Lifetime”