How to Shave Time and Money Like a Dad

EJP

There’s one promise I can make you today, right now.

I will never, ever curl my eyelashes.

Especially in my Pontiac Grand-Am, as I roll down highway 4-85.

Especially on the morning commute. (This happened, with a fellow motorist. Sixty-five-plus MPH, with an eyelash curler clipped one eye, then the other. I can judge and give dirty looks, even though when I eat animal cookies while I drive, I look down to see what animal it is, out of respect – for the animal.)

Say What? The Adventures of Quotable Kids

photo credit: These Aren’t the Cookies You’re Looking For! via photopin (license)

I love a good quote.

Not only from Jesus or Aristotle or a Flock of Seagulls, but from the NFL players I get to Interview when I help out the Associated Press. Keyshawn Johnson, Tony Romo and Larry Fitzgerald are among my favorites in the NFL, but my first interview out of college played out like a band geek asking out the cheer captain.

Or at least the girl with the reputation.

I’m not sure what I meant to ask former Charlotte Hornets star Larry Johnson way back in the day, but I vomited the words like someone tossing a box of Scrabble down the stairs.