5 For Friday: Go Ask Daddy About World Wonders, Holiday Traditions and Foul Language

photo credit: JD Hancock via photopin cc

I’ve got to do better at this, y’all.

These girls ask great questions. Sometimes, though, it’s not at the most opportune time. Like, in the waning moments of a tense NFL playoff game. Or, while the grill is in full flame. Or, I’ve got both hands on a gorgeous slice of pizza.

I try to jot them down on anything I can get my hands on, but I’m looking at a pile next to my laptop that includes a 2012 Carolina Panthers media guide, a cardboard box of crap I cleaned out from my car on Saturday, and an ESPN the Magazine with a jinxy cover of Colin Kaepernick.

5 For Friday: Things My Elf Would Do That Would Make Your Elf On a Shelf Culturally Uncomfortable

White America – here’s to you.

No, seriously. This isn’t a Brown Power blog making fun of you. Well, not completely. I love your contributions to our American heritage. You know, cookouts, singing Christmas trees, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

The one thing I wish you’d left in the box: Elf on The Shelf.

I choose not to participate. My youngest is too old, at the ripe age of 8. I’m just as busy as any of you. I’d rather eat the snacks I’ve hidden from them and watch Ghost Adventurers on Netflix after they go to bed, not hide a damned elf.