Guess how I thought of opening Go Ask Daddy this week?
I had designs on a scathing prediction of boredom and boneheadism in the Super Bowl on Sunday. Final score: Patriots 9, Seahawks 8. It’s the lousiest championship game in the history of Jesus.
Marshawn Lynch fumbles three times and rushes for 3 yards. Tom Brady throws seven interceptions, and Seattle can’t muster a touchdown. Both coaches draw the writer’s block when it comes to rule-bending.
That’s saying something. Bill Belichick and Pete Carroll redefine the term, ‘cheat sheet.’
It involves highlights of past games. Moments immortalized for all time. There are incredible clips, of Joe Namath’s brash prediction, the crowning jewel of the Miami Dolphins’ perfect season.
The Giants’ Eli Manning destruction of the New England Patriots’ bid for another undefeated year.
It includes footage of Denver Broncos woes, shots of Craig Morton getting sacked, guys named Timmy Smith and Joe Morris ripping the Orange Crush defense, and, 55-10, the final score of a nightmarish Super Bowl with the San Francisco 49ers.