I’m a fan of the mamas in the book Mother of all Meltdowns.
I’m not sure what that makes me. A Mother Lover? A Meltdownian? Anyway, I’m honored to host one of the co-authors of the book, Janine Huldie, at Coach Daddy today. I don’t want to take up too much space here.
I’m definitely infringing upon her graphic and her guest post.
You should make sure to check out Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic. J does it all – hops, product reviews, and recipes (yes, I noticed). Today, she’s here to talk about that holy grail of holy grails – the mom’s holiday wish list.
We fellas better listen up.
8 essentials on a mama’s holiday wish list
This is a no-brainer.
Seriously from the time I was so very pregnant with my first, I remembered hearing from other mothers that I better get my sleep now. Well, I am here to say that it is almost 5 years later for me and I still not getting as much sleep as I would like.
Whether it is a bad dream from one of my girls, someone getting sick during the night, my husband snoring or that I just can’t plain sleep, I truly would love Santa to let the sandman give me just one good night’s sleep now.
Hey, I am only asking for one. Seriously would love more, but just to start with one would be heavenly and think most moms would agree!
2. Hot Meals
I never realized before I had kids how much tastier a meal was when it was hot or actually fresh and not sitting waiting for me to eat, while I get everyone else their meals or sit down to take that first bit and have one of my kids need something, like go to the bathroom right at that very moment.
Santa, hook a mama up and let me have a hot and fresh meal this Christmas season without interruption just this once and I will be forever grateful.
See the meal doesn’t even have to be the best or most tasty, just a normal, nice, quiet meal is all I and most mothers would ask for!
3. No more whining/crying/temper tantrums
I admit I always wanted girls and felt I was more of a girl mom. Sorry, but I was a girly girl growing up and even though I was boy crazy as a teen (yes my own mom could vouch for this), I still was not as prepared as I should of for the constant meltdowns, tantrums and whining.
Jeez, it isn’t even 10 a.m. and I lost count of all the tears that have been shed.
So, I would love even one hour a day for the next week where my crazy, little princesses are just quiet and content. Again not too much to ask, I have been so good this year! And think other moms would agree that they too could live without the constant drama.
4. Night out on the town without the kids
This one goes along with number 2 just slightly, but seriously I forget the last time a meal out, I had that didn’t involve Friendly’s, Burger King or McDonald’s (We are so classy), but still I would just love a few hours alone with my husband to eat and drink out in a non-kid friendly establishment to be able to hold an adult conversation for longer than 2 minutes at a time.
A movie before or after this meal would be a bonus if you thought I was extra good (I think I was!). Santa, think this is something that moms everywhere could also use.
5. Being able to eat whatever you want for 24 hours and not gaining a pound!
Gone are days when I could eat that extra cookie or piece of pie or enjoy a cocktail during the holidays and not look like I was four months pregnant the next day from the water retention.
Seriously, you give birth to two kids and suddenly your middle section expands whenever you even eye that extra slice or glass of wine.
What I wouldn’t give for 24 hours where I could eat or drink to my content and not pay for it the very next day in extra water weight that I get to carry around. Santa, I know, you are content being pleasantly plump, but I, my friend, am not!
So, please hook us moms up on this!
6. No more messes: Self-cleaning house
No one ever told me how gross a family bathroom could get after potty training two little girls or having a husband, who is just so a guy in the bathroom. This is just the tip of the iceberg though and I am not joking that I have nightmares many nights about cleaning up after everyone.
Don’t get me wrong, my husband does try to help, but still, my house right this very minute yet again happens to look like Toys R Us just exploded in my living room from two tiny terrors playing with all their toys that are indeed fit for a princess.
So, how about giving me a self-cleaning house for 24 hours?
I would love to not have to get down on my hands and knees for a day to clean up the mess that my double trouble think it fit for me to indeed clean daily. Come on, I think this is totally doable for moms everywhere!
7. More hours in the day to get everything done
Alright come on I have complained all year about not even being able to find an hour a day to read and I finally was able to read two books the last few weeks and then got extra busy again with work and having trouble finding that extra time again, so please even if you could add a half hour a day for a week, I would be ever so grateful, because I really just don’t have enough time in the day to work, take care of my family, myself and find free time, too.
8. More books to read for moms everywhere and make it be that all moms and moms-to-be get to read The Mother of All Meltdowns
Come on Santa, you know that if you can’t give us everything that is on our list, then a book that makes all moms feel like they aren’t alone and that other moms have indeed been there in their shoes at one point or another would be a welcome gift. To get yours, please click here and look below for more information on this, as well!
Speaking of awesome writer moms … I’m honored to be a guest writer for Marcia at Menopausal Mother today! The subject matter is crucial of course – how to tell if your kid’s coach is a schmuck. Come check it out!
I’m printing this list out & sending it FedEx Rush Delivery to Santa. Janine nailed it. I want every single thing on this list. Sleep, a hot meal, cleaning fairies, tantrum reprieve, date night. Yep, she covered it all. If Santa wants to book me a 90-minute massage to top it off, that’d be the icing on the guilt- and bloat-free Christmas cookies I plan to inhale.
And, of course, I 100% agree that every mom needs her own copy of The Mother of All Meltdowns. It’s the perfect stocking stuffer.
As for what that makes you, Eli? One word: Awesome.
Thanks Nicole and made my day that you are fed-exing this to Santa!! Seriously, I hope we all get a least one of these now from him!! 🙂
I wonder if Santa takes PayPal.
Dads would be happy with a plate of wings and a central spot on the couch for a playoff game on TV. The nap is a given at halftime.
Thank you so much again Eli for having me here today and truly was pleasure to share this with all your readers today!! 🙂
Thanks for making the trip to my humble playing grounds, Janine. Great to have you!
I’m a Mother Lover too. And a Meltdowner! Janine, so awesome to read your words! Des can definitely whine like the best of them but at this point, it’s just so easily remedied. I hope that lasts…because Scarlet has already screamed without giving up her fight, and it’s not even 7:30.
I so agree with some of these, but I’d take out the cleaning one (Cassidy probably gets mad at ME for not cleaning well..) and add in camera lenses. Lots and lots of camera lenses.
You totally need lots of camera lenses (and to meet in person to see you in action with your camera now) and seriously what is with the whining! I never knew how much little kids could whine, but I have learned now and just wish for less of that for sure!!
Tamara’s kids don’t whine, do they?
Mother Lovers need T-shirts.
Seriously, you need to start that t-shirt business. You could sell them on the blog.
All I need is a T-shirt press. and about $10,000.
2 and 5 go together. Absolutely sister!! I would also like one long marathon spa day to get everything done that just feels like a luxury or that I don’t normally have time for. The works would include a massage, body wrap, facial, waxing whatever needs waxed, a mani/pedi, and a hair and makeup makeover. Of course then I’d need the rest of the day to go shopping since I’m feeling so beautiful now. 😉 Great list Janine.
Thanks so much Kathy and the massage and shopping sound like pure heaven to me!! 🙂
Y’all can plan this on any NFL playoff weekend. Really.
You sure got it right. They are all on my list! 🙂
Thanks Amanda and I know seriously got to make sure Santa gets the memo now for sure!! 🙂
It’s in Santa’s best interest to keep mama happy.
She didn’t even mention beef jerky.
I love this list and agree with every single one!!! I especially need those extra hours – if you find some in your stocking, I hope you’ll share! 🙂
If I do, I will totally share with you Lisa!! 🙂
I wonder if it counts if you just take off your watch for an afternoon.
Oh Janine, I love your list! I hope Santa listens! I need this all too! More time and sleep for sure!
Thanks Michelle and I hope Santa brings you that sleep and will totally keep my fingers crossed now for sure!! 🙂
i propose national nap time on Dec. 25 from noon to 6.
We should add in a day after Dec. 25 and before Dec. 26 to just sleep.
That would be so awesome Eli! Could you also add a few hours to each day…that would be perfect!
I used to want to have the ability to freeze time. Mostly so I could sneak cookies and look in the women’s fitting room (hey, I was 12). That would work well to sneak in a nap.
MUST send that list!! Anyone’s got Santa’s address?
I wish I did and would so share if I did for sure!! 🙂
Good news: He has a website.
Bad news: It’s made by the folks who created healthcare.gov.
CC me on this list too!! When I was little my mom always used to ask for “a clean house and peace in the world.” We laughed at her about it every time. Now, as a mom myself, those two things are at the top of my list!
Will totally CC you on this for sure Rabia and I know I never really got what my mom would complain about until I too became a mom!!
Every time I wish for quiet, I miss the kids’ voices.
I think I could deal with a world of unrest if I had a clean house.
You hit the nail on the head with each and every one of these! I think you just spoke for mothers everywhere!
Thanks Sandy and was truly hoping to have something for every mom out there!! 🙂
And a few dads.
Oh Janine, you have so hit the nail on the head with this one! So many days lately, I go without sleep, only catching a cat nap here and there. Still drowning in the day to day and trying to keep my head above water. Thanks for sharing! Have a great week!
Thanks so much Stacey and so glad to know it just isn’t me and very happy to share here with you. Wishing you a great week now, too!! 🙂
I tried to nod off a little last night on the way home from work.
I agree with everything on this list! Sleep, no meltdowns, hot food – all of it. I would add a day where I wake up when I’m done sleeping… not to a child calling my name, an alarm clock, the sun, NOTHING but waking when I’m rested and do it on my own. Not too much to ask, right?
Stephanie, not too much to ask for at all and love your addition here!! 🙂
I really think there are no clocks in paradise.
What a treat to click over here and see one of my very favorite bloggers!!!
Incredible list – I’m especially in on #5 and #6!!!
So happy to see you here, too and I know #5 and #6 are truly up there on my list as you can tell, too! 🙂
It’s kind of like getting an extra donut in your lunchbox, kinda. well, or a donut at all.
WELL AMEN TO THIS LIST!!!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!! I want every single thing you wrote here… Perfect Janine! XO
Hot food is my favorite.
Thanks so much Chris and Eli, I love that hot food is your favorite!! 🙂
Who am I kidding? I’d settle for luke-warm. Not fussy.
this looks great janine, and are so right about all of it. you make us all feel more normal ) best, beth
I still feel abnormal, though.
Thanks so much Beth and just nice to know that I am not alone!! 🙂
I couldn’t have made a better list myself! Nice work, Janine! I feel like I should print out copies and place them around my apartment where my husband will see them. I’ll start with the frig. 🙂
You should nail them to Santa’s door, like Martin Luther.
I think the frig is always the best place to start!! 🙂
I go there for moments of quiet contemplation.
You could be called worse than a mother lover, Eli – thanks for supporting our book! Janine, may you get at least one thing on your wish list this Christmas!
Thanks Dana and it would be nice, but just writing about it felt good!! 🙂
So now my blog’s a therapeutic escape?
Glad to do it! I really should put a badge on my sidebar.
Yes, yes, yes, yes…you get the idea! OMG if I could just get sleep AND more hours in the day, I swear I would be infinitely happier. Please Santa?
Maybe with more sleep, we parents would lose our edge.
Allie, I know I keep begging him, too!! 🙂
Saints hate it when you beg.
Concur with this list! !!
Thanks so much Amber and happy to know you too would ask for most of what is on this list, too!! 🙂
Don’t you know it? Happy Friday eve!
ADH – we should add one large cheese pizza from Elizabeth’s. Or some Libby Hill fish and hushpuppies!
Totally agreed!!! I can call Justin Conrad over at Libby Hill, probably should wait until at least 11am though…LOL!
I wanted to get a job there just long enough to get one of those sweet polo shirts with the chef fish on it.
It always comes down to Greensboro eateries with you.
Oh wait, that’s with me.
LOL! It is pretty awesome, Smith Street Diner? Was it around when you were here? Fabulous breakfast!
I don’t think that was there then … is Mr. Dunderbak’s still in the mall? That was one of our favorite spots for lunch. The German potato salad was awesome.
I don’t think so, but, I don’t go to the mall anymore… Friendly Center has changed that for just about everyone
Just looked it up … Dunderbak’s closed in Greensboro and Raleigh, but is still open in Winston. Friendly Center seemed so spread out … (don’t you non-Greensboro lovers love that we toss around the ‘boro talk like this in comments?)
LOL! I love the fact that I have less of a chance of getting physically harmed at Friendly at night… I will go to mall during the day, if I must… UGH (I think I may be a Friendly Center Shopping snob, huh?)! I LOVE my city! GO GSO!!!! Fly PTI, Right, Eli???
I have never ever flown PTI, but I will vouch for Elizabeth’s Pizza. Back in my day in Greensboro, the mall was safe. ish. Maybe it’s because you’re white.
BaHaHaHa! Well that’s racial profiling reversed…LOL. I’m only kidding, Y’all. Eli knows how to get my goat! 😀 Naw- I used to go as a teen, the scene has changed a bit, I think…. I dunno. :O
I think malls overall are probably less safe. Not only to get stabbed, but to have your credit card info ripped off!
It’s quite convenient to be a minority in a minority situation, too. Like, being dark-skinned, there’s almost a minority courtesy thing going on. I imagine it’s that way with sharks. They don’t eat each other. I guess. Very often.
This is getting messy.
And without Mr. Dunderbak’s at the mall, why bother?
Exactly… LOL! Man, was Ghassan’s here, when you were here? They have some fabulous food! 🙂
Ghassan’s wasn’t there when I was … what’s the scoop?
I’m starving now…
me too – and I just had lunch.
Great list, Janine. I could definitely use a self-cleaning house, and the no more whining sounds great. Of course, I also think everyone should own Mother of all Meltdowns. 🙂
Thanks Jennifer and I know every mother should totally now a copy of the Mother of All Meltdowns for sure!! 🙂
We need whining children and dirty houses to keep the Mother of all Meltdowns in context.
Please please please have Santa bring me a self-cleaning house. I didn’t even know there was such a thing. And please have him steam clean the carpets too, I don’t want to move the furniture. Thank you ahead of time to Santa, I can still hear the bell ring (Polar Express reference). 🙂
I nearly invented disposable carpet, you know.
Eli if you invent disposable carpet, I am so in!! And Rosey, I would love the self cleaning house, too!! 🙂
But what if cleaning builds character?
You got them all Janine! I am seriously hoping Santa was listening to you and will deliver to us all!
If he doesn’t … what becomes of us all?
Leah, I hope so, too and Eli I haven’t a clue!! 🙂
Man, my husband is snoring so loud right now… I wanna hit him with a hockey stick on the chin. hence my alertness after midnight. What would a full night sleep be like? I can’t even remember anymore.
Santa — we moms NEED that list. It’s a moral imperative that you comply.
Since I reside in a freezing climate that is blanketed with snow for 6 months of the year; can I add a snowblower to that list? Seriously… I shoveled the driveway twice today. Including that mountain of drift the plow always deposits at the very end of the drive that even my parents 4×4 could not get over. While cleaning the house, cooking and watching 3 very excited because Christmas Is ALMOST HERE….is it here? mom mom mom Is It HERE YET??!! (except the one that spiked a 102 fever…..right after eating lunch. because of course)
And yet me? not snoring.
Poor guy. He saw the Hobbit 2 today with our son, came home and ate half a pizza, watched TV with my dad while my mom and I wrapped presents…..and just got plain tuckered out.
So yes Santa Baby… we moms deserve that list fulfilled.
Oh….and a hockey stick too Santa please.
I love comments like this, because it’s like you’re guest-posting again. So, thank God for snoring husbands. it’s times like these I’m convinced you’re channeling your inner Todd Bertuzzi, just for me.
I think a full night’s rest for a mom would probably make her drowsy all and possibly cause bed sores. It would be so far out of the norm.
Moms are kind of bad ass. The sight of a mom with a baby on her hip and doing 17 things with the other hand and one of her feet inspires, for sure, because I cannot text and walk a straight line.
I suspect you’d crack the spouse in the choppers with the stick just to get a little peace and quiet in the penalty box, and that’s kind of endearing.
We dads. Now that we don’t have to chop down timber to build our family’s log cabin and kill dinner with our bare hands, our lot’s slipped a bit. I’ll write about this soon.
In the meantime, we ought to sleep with one eye open.
(p.s. “because of course” is my favorite thing to come out of Canada since beaver tails and Lisa LeFlamme. And you, of course, Rore).
Ok, I totally forgot a hockey stick. God do I feel your pain. We so need this list and seriously like yesterday. I hope today is shaping up to be better, but I have a feeling it is probably just as bad as stressful as yesterday maybe even worse. Fingers totally crossed for you though now and thank you for stopping by. Merry Christmas!!
I saw an online poll today asking what is stressing you out most right now, your fantasy football team or your unfinished holiday shopping.
I’m going with fantasy football. Who remembers what they got for Christmas last year?