I’m usually better at this.
You know. Staying in the present. It’s how I’ve managed to keep the train on the tracks when all else fails. I remind friends of this when they cling to the past or fret about the future. Frame where you are now, and be fully in it.
If one of those friends said that to me now, back, I’d see how impossible it feels.
Madison is moving to California next month. I’ll take a 40-hour road trip with my oldest and her cat, Munch. I wake up at 4 a.m. every day worried about it. But I’m getting better. She’s excited. I’m excited for her, and I’ll work extra hard to buy plane tickets to visit her early and often.
I’m grateful for that girl’s soul.
I’m grateful for the model she’s showing her sisters. Sure, I fear the other two will scramble to other corners of the world, but not today. Today, they’re all here. And honestly, they always will be.
What I’m grateful for
1. My sister, for being nice to me. We’re going to touch on a few of my issues today, apparently. I’ve felt distant from my family. She and I have talked more lately, and it’s comforting. I guess siblings can always pick up where they left off.
2. The moment my breathing eases me. It really works. And no matter what storms appear to swirl in my mind, there’s a calm pool somewhere within. When you’re strong there, you’re strong everywhere.
3. The calm that can pervade all things. It’s there always like the sun is on a cloudy day. I’ve worn a beaten path between the edge of self-awareness and the inner calm I mentioned above. But at least I remember how to get there.
4. The implications of beating diabetes. Why didn’t I do this sooner? My life could be so different now. It’s not too late. I’m watching my glucose levels, weathering the spikes, and pulling that average down a little at a time.
5. A glimpse of what my days could be. John Maxwell, in his list of 7 Steps to Success, lists “value the process more than events” as No. 3. That’s my favorite one right now. I’ve constructed my process by trial and error. I know it can work if I do.
6. Stacy for her thoughtfulness. She’s a friend I met through soccer when our daughters guest-played on the same team. Our life arches have been similar, and her awareness of those around and close to her is so admirable.
7. Moments of momentum and focus. It’s not always a day of floundering and trying again tomorrow. Sometimes, the gears get going. The goal materializes before me and I can knock it out, one thing at a time. Those times remind me that I can.
8. My office, to be back to work. Every other day for now. Maybe forever. I’m sitting here, shoes off, tie loosened, animal cookies within arm’s length, with ELO blasting on the laptop speaker (can you call that blasting?) because I’m the only one here!
9. That last piece to a puzzle. Both real and imagined. We completed a Star Wars Funko Pop puzzle recently while listening to Shark Tank. For once, I could help, because only I knew the difference between a Jawa’s cloak and Obiwan Kenobi’s.
10. The first tee on a disc golf course. Especially if you haven’t thrown in a while. It’s like meeting an old friend. Or getting to your favorite pizza joint. Or just being able to breathe deep and remember all the blessings you have right now.
What are you grateful for?