Madison took this stormtrooper photo the same day at Kings Mountain as Hayden did. Very similar pictures! I’ll use one Camdyn took next time.
I’m usually better at this.
You know. Staying in the present. It’s how I’ve managed to keep the train on the tracks when all else fails. I remind friends of this when they cling to the past or fret about the future. Frame where you are now, and be fully in it.
If one of those friends said that to me now, back, I’d see how impossible it feels.
Madison is moving to California next month. I’ll take a 40-hour road trip with my oldest and her cat, Munch. I wake up at 4 a.m. every day worried about it. But I’m getting better. She’s excited. I’m excited for her, and I’ll work extra hard to buy plane tickets to visit her early and often.
Hayden took this during our day at King’s Mountain.
Remember Jurassic Park?
Not the first one. One of the last ones. Maybe the last one. There was this epic battle between the mighty Tyrannosaurus Rex (sorry, my generation gave the big guy his due – no T-Rex) battled a mega super ultra mean swole somethingasaurus.
I kept thinking, what could they possibly do to top that?
And then this sea monster pops up and eats that bastard like heās a potsticker. Thatās kind of how 2020 is feeling right about now. You think youāve wrapped your mind around your circumstance, and then ā¦ well, sea monsters.
Stormtroopers, mermaids, and easy answers for Go Ask Daddy. All mythical creatures?
Sometimes, interesting parallels emerge in Go Ask Daddy questions.
Theyāre chosen at random. From a list of about 200. When the first two contained the words āalcoholic drinkā and ācrack cocaine,ā I began to question the universe. Namely, what is intends for me. Then, more pressing ā¦ did my girls ask these questions, really?
They did!
Every week, I try to pick out five questions the girls asked (over years and years) to answer in this space right here. To continue the controversy, the Dallas Cowboys appeared on this list, too. And a doozy of a fifth question. Check it out.
But letās be honest: The pandemic has me spending a tad more impossible income on spirits. I was disappointed the ABC store sold me a bottle of rum and tequila but didnāt serve them to me in paper sacks.
The Cherry Bomb looks yummy and counts as a fruit or vegetable serving.
But it has cachaƧa, which isnāt on my Walmart pickup list. The Cherry Bourbon Smash sounds like it should have a holiday named after it. I learned a lot reading about this Easy Cherry Lemonade – and it just made me thirsty.
Just found out thereās also something known as a Dirty Shirley.
Hayden has extensive knowledge of drugs, thanks to a high school course. She rattles off facts about cannabis, ecstasy, and hallucinogens the way I did about Ankylosaurus, Stegosaurus, Triceratops back in the day.
Cocaine comes in both powder and rock, kind of like thereās a Triceratops and a Zuniceratops which look similar.
They call it cocaine or coke when itās a powder, and crack or crack cocaine as the rock. I looked up how itās made, and I wonāt go into it in detail, but it sounds a little like how you make rock candy. Which is kinda messed up.
They call it crack because it crackles when itās cooked.
Itās pretty highly concentrated, so itās possible to get addicted with just one dose. If you or someone you know might have questions about addiction, they can call the American Addiction Centers at 888-969-0144.
Maybe they lost track of what day it is like I have.
More likely, theyāre Seventh Day Adventists. They consider Saturday the sabbath, not Sunday. While some Christians go to church on Sunday, others consider it a true day of rest – like, you can even sleep in on Sunday mornings. I like that.
Itās like those calendars that sometimes start on Sunday, sometimes start on Monday.
Some Jewish folks have services on Saturday, too. Some Christians say they should church on Sunday because thatās the day of the week of Jesusā resurrection. I was just a boy then, so Iām not positive.
In 321, Roman Emperor Constantine said everyone should rest on Sunday, which is why thatās the one day of the week I wonāt clock in for anyone.
4. Who was the guy who jumped into the Salvation Army bucket?
It wasnāt Constantine (because it was on a Sunday.)
That distinction goes to Dallas Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott. He hopped into an oversized Salvation Army kettle at AT&T Stadium after a rushing touchdown against Tampa Bay. What a donation
Iāve written negatively about Elliott on this very blog, but I also donāt believe in condemning anyone for life because of something they did or allegedly did.
Elliott has a childlike view of the game that I totally appreciate. He leaped into the kettle and it gave the Salvation Army a good bit of playtime. He wasnāt fined for this, and I agree with that. Donations spiked after his leap, and Zeke made a donation of his own.
The Salvation Army said it got $850,000 in online donations after that – which would buy 91,000 meals for those in need.Ā
5. Why does ‘fine’ sometimes mean something great, like fine dining, and sometimes just so-so-, like, ‘you did fine’?
One thing Iāve learned as a man is that āfineā has a ton of meanings and connotations. You mentioned fine dining – thatās elegant. Think white tablecloths and prices in tiny print on a menu. āYou did fineā is the other end of the spectrum – like, meh.Ā
If you say āthat girlās fiiiine,ā it means something – and when you do it in front of your significant other, and arenāt talking about her, you might be told that everything is āfine.ā
Iād rather just PAY a fine for my mistake. Itās a fine line between just appreciating the human form in the form of your friendly neighborhood restaurant server, and committing a major infraction of ā¦ appreciating the wrong human form.
This is another prompt from the bookĀ 300 Writing Prompts. As you might have read, it’s a book a friend gave me when I left Red Ventures. I carry it with me everywhere. When I’m on a plane, I ask someone to pick a prompt for me to tackle.
It usually goes well, the ask.
The person who helped me with this one was in for a huge change in life. I’m going to send her the link to this, so I don’t want to give all the details. It was a great conversation and I have a feeling she’s doing wonderful things where she is.
I got sick of the normal X words. As if X words are normal. I’m sure somewhere someone is writing about xylophone adventures and xenophobia. More power to ya.
I say, let’s go with 10.
You know, the roman numeral for 10, X. Quick story here: I was a no-soccer-experience soccer coach at first. I made my own formations and positions, such as junker. (It was like a sweeping fullback, full of badass.)
I was going to become an NFL quarterback. I could throw a perfect spiral in fourth grade – with a plastic ball OR a Nerf. Talk about versatility. I had all the tools.
Except the talent and physical gifts.
But if dreams were those things, I’d be giving a Hall of Fame speech at some point. As early as I can remember, I had a love affair with the game of football.
I have lots of friends whose marketing efforts for all sorts of businesses inspire me. They show me that there are effective ways to stand out in a crowded space of posts and links. It’s a personal touch that gives a person and business a signature feel.
Nancy Kempa does just that in her posts.
We became friends on Instagram, and talked a lot about our messaging and about life. She has one of those determined wills that is also inspiring. Have something you’d like to do or do better? Nancy’s approach is to tackle it.
So, thereās a story I want to tell and I donāt care if you judge.
One of my kids made a gesture at the TV yesterday that told a story. Weāve navigated this lockdown like good astronauts (minus zero gravity and Tang.) But as my girls worked on a puzzle during a Hulu session of Malcolm in the Middle, an ad came on and triggered her.
Social distancing doesnāt have to mean we have to be distant socially, the sugary-voiced lady was saying to promote something I canāt even remember.
Instinctively, a middle finger arose. She didnāt even look up from the puzzle. I said nothing. I get it. Social listening data tells us that people love ads like this. They want to know corporate America is in it with us. That theyāre doing their part.
Sunday, feeling almost caught up in the writing part of this #AtoZMadness (but still way behind on reading!), I had the task of cranking out a post to go with the letter K. Oy. Kaleidoscope? Karma? Kaput? Kayak?
(I could write about the time I almost died in a kayak – or was that a canoe?)
Well, I still could have tied it to kaput! But I got a test from a friend named Kelly on Sunday afternoon checking in on how things are going (happens a lot with the COVID, and I’m grateful!) and wondering if I’d published our interview for #GirlsRock.
At first, I titled this photo “stormtrooper fortnite.” Yeah. It’s 1:05 a.m. and I’m 48 years old.
What a month this week has been.
The pessimist in me wonders what not wearing jeans for four weeks has done to me physically. The optimist in me feels as if this quarantine has at least kept the Colorado Rockies from the dredge of the NL West for now.
The artist in me has documented, for better or worse, my thoughts each day in the pandemic – as daily haikus.
Some are flippant, some sad, some confused. Like any other March that I could have done this, but only this March is historically significant. Not just because there was no Final Four, but because when has the entire world ever has so much in common?
I just started hacking away, inspired each day by Twitter or TV news (I’ve cut way back) or just what was going on that day.
Let me know how the quarantine has been for you, and which of these, if any, resonated with you. A college today said she can’t just go day to day anymore, and I get that. So I’m hoping to get to the ballpark soon and the beach even sooner.
Just as soon as we get the all-clear.
COVID haiku journal
March 18
Overreacting?
Iām honestly not too sure.
Iāll just stay in place.
EJP
March 19
My people, our house
Not a big house, but enough
I canāt hear anyone
March 20
The big Pop Tart box
Seems like the best choice right now
One tart at a time
March 21
No solicitors
No Jehovahās Witnesses
Was that Amazon?
March 22
Donāt you miss hugging?
I know it has just started.
Just looking ahead.
March 23
Lots of people out
When I pick up our groceries
Am I a chump too?
March 24
Finding time to write
Should not be so difficult
Work days are so long
March 25
My back feels so sore
My ass is getting flattened
Always pajamas
March 26
Four rolls left in here
TP is greater than gold
We are middle class
March 27
Iāve lost track of days
And how long since Iāve worn pants?
At least we have cheese.
March 28
Out of cat litter
The shit might hit the fan now
Is this our world now?
March 29
Uncle Frank is ill
His test comes back in 3 days
Favorite uncle
March 30
Grocery order?
Itās canceled after 5 days
Instacart on strike
March 31
Totinoās pizza
Three of them to sustain me
For three days at least
April 1
Itās April Fools Day
I wish someone would play tricks
We could use the laugh
April 2
Itās my dadās birthday
He would have been 68
I miss him so much!
April 3
Social distancing
Not happening in the parks
Bunch of dumb asses.
April 4
Was yesterday harsh?
My bad. I should be more kind.
Cover your damn mouth
April 5
Steaks on my new grill
Make happiness if you can
Steak is a good way.
April 6
Pray for my uncle
Heās fighting this thing so strong
Grant him all my strength
April 7
Girls want fried chicken
Who am I to argue that?
Food is everything
April 8
Uncle Frank update
He had a good day Tuesday
Let’s keep on praying
April 9
When this is over
Oh, how we will celebrate
Hug and kiss for days!
This is another prompt from the bookĀ 
I got sick of the normal X words. As if X words are normal. I’m sure somewhere someone is writing about xylophone adventures and xenophobia. More 
I was going to become an NFL quarterback. I could throw a perfect spiral in fourth grade – with a plastic ball OR a Nerf. Talk about versatility. I had 
I have lots of friends whose marketing efforts for all sorts of businesses inspire me. They show me that there are effective ways to stand out in a crowded space of posts and links. It’s a personal touch that gives a person and business 
One of my kids made a gesture at the TV yesterday that told a story. Weāve navigated this lockdown like good astronauts (minus zero gravity and Tang.) But as my girls worked on a puzzle during a Hulu session of 
Sunday, feeling almost caught up in the writing part of this #AtoZMadness (but still way behind on reading!), I had the task of cranking out a post to go with the letter K. Oy. Kaleidoscope? 
The pessimist in me wonders what not wearing jeans for four weeks has done to me physically. The optimist in me feels as if this quarantine has at least kept the Colorado Rockies from the dredge of the NL 
April 7
Just a dad ... 