Good for nothin’. Jackass. Idiot. Moron, dumbass, !@#$ for brains. You can belittle his race, his creed, his hockey team, or his hair. Cast him adrift because of his heritage or religion or sexual orientation. Classify his face, his soul, or his manhood.
Few things, though, sting like being called chicken.
Every month, I compile a post called “6 Words.” Hemingway inspired it when he said any story can be told in a six-word sentence. I recently asked bloggers, friends, strangers, and a few strange blogger friends to respond to a prompt.
September is National Chicken Month. In recognition of this great American bird – what’s one thing you’re chicken of, in a six-word sentence? It can be funny or serious. From “A tornado strike while we sleep” to “Any moth bigger than a quarter.”
Today’s list is littered with creepy crawlies. It’s apparent that as many of you find comfort in chocolate and wine, every bit as much of you finds terror in things with more than two legs.
Oh, and remember the Beautifully Awkward Project that Melissa Bond and I launched this week? My first endeavor has something to do with something I’m chicken of – and it’s not that someone will put a San Francisco Giants cap on me while I sleep.
It involves a life vest and rapidly moving water. I’ll meet my destiny with it Thursday. Pray for me. And order an extra sweet-and-sour dipping sauce with your chicken nuggets, in honor of me.
What would your six-word sentence be?
1. I’m too chicken to eat seafood.
Courtney S., of My Crazy Savings blog
2. Anything with more than four legs.
Coleen H., of The Redhead Baker blog
3. Flying cockroaches the size of Winnebagos!
Marcia D., of Menopausal Mother blog
4. Spiders and scorpions are nightmare fuel.
Erica A., of A Sign of Life blog
5. Humongous tractor trailers flying on I-81.
Deb, of Deb Runs blog
6. Seeing growing dish pile in sink.
Meredith S., of The Mom of theYear blog
7. Suddenly finding my closet completely empty.
Hilary, of Feeling Beachie blog
8. Unable to make my own decisions.
Laurie S., of The Adventures of Writing blog
9. Moth welcoming party on front porch.
Sharon Z., of Mommy Verbs blog
10. No lions, tigers, bears, but spiders. . .
Karen, of Baking in a Tornado blog
11. Dying while he’s away on business.
Kristen D., of Four Hens and a Rooster blog
12. Scale the highest heights? NO WAY.
Kathy G., of Kissing the Frog blog
13. Flying cockroaches disgust and frighten me.
Rosey M., of Mail 4 Rosey blog
14. Emptying my kids’ hampers – gag worthy!
Dana H., of Kiss My List blog
15. Blog post published, no one reads.
Katie M., of Pick Any Two blog
16. My kiddo, alone, with scissors – yikes!
Norine D., or Science of Parenthood blog
17. High heights and falling from them.
Lisa W., of The Golden Spoons Blog
18. Murky water – I must see feet.
Joey R., of Big Teeth and Clouds blog
19. “Kid brings home the stomach bug.”
Tamara B., of Tamara Camera blog
20. Combination lock – what’s the sequence again?
Kim, of Protean Mom blog
21. The creepy eight legged monsters; spiders.
April B., of My Bizarre Family blog
22. Spiders, arachnids, and scorpions – OH MY!
Aunie R., of Aunie Sauce blog
23. People I love may miss Jesus.
Jennifer L., of That’s a Jenn Story blog
24. Blood Draws, Blood Pressure, Blood Relatives.
Momus, of The Next Delusion blog
25. Meeting people, especially on the phone.
Cassandra, of The Next Delusion blog
26. Cold calling strangers on the phone.
Kristen R., of Bye Bye Beer blog
27. Hearing you when I am alone.
Shannon T., of Shannon A. Thompson blog
28. Shiny slimy slugs slowly sliding…anywhere.
Kate H., of Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine blog
29. Top thrill dragster at Cedar Point.
Theresa M., of Theresa’s Mixed Nuts blog
30. My teenagers in the driver’s seat.
Shannon D., of Deepest Worth blog
31. Dark basements, unwelcome intruders, all spiders.
Amy M., of Teach Mama blog
32. A hurricane while at the beach.
Lori P., of A Day in Motherhood blog
33. Feet flee when eyes see bees.
34. Buying a forever home with mortgage.
Deedra M., of At My Counter blog
35. Two princesses becoming queens too quickly.
Janine H., of Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic blog
36. Brussel sprouts and also kale chips.
Amber M., of Airing My Dirty Laundry blog
37. Standing on anything half my size.
Tammie B., of The Graying Chronicles blog
38. Aquatic life touching me while swimming.
Femme F., of Femme Frugality blog
39. Sneaky, diabolical cockroaches of any size.
Megan W., of The Walker Fireside Chats blog
40. Realizing Mom was right…about everything.
Lisa L., of The Meaning of Me blog
41. Spiders beetling furtively across the carpet.
Kelly M., of Just Typikel blog
42. Frogs: indiscriminate hopping and creepy eyes.
Andrea M., of About 100 Percent blog
43. I avoid confrontation at all costs.
Debbie, of Heatbeats~Soul Stains blog
44. Urgent need where no bathroom be.
Jen, of A Lady in France blog
45. Any novel written by Stephen King.
Julia T., of Diary of a Word Nerd blog
46. Body and soul fully engulfing pain.
Serins, of Serin’s Sphere blog
47. Anything that I can’t tightly control!
Kathy R., of My Dishwasher’s Possessed blog
48. Any bug that has six legs!
Amy D., of Savvy Saving Couple blog
49. High places, tight spaces, water races.
Michelle T. (above, right), of Mama Mick blog
50. Terrified of snakes big and small.
Lisa, of Blonde Barista blog
51. No kidding, snakes make me cry.
Sandy R., of Mother of Imperfection blog
52. People being unkind without any consequences.
Galit B., of These Little Waves blog
53. Hormonal teenagers: God save us parents.
Meg D., of These Crazy Kids blog
54. Furry rodents with long skinny tails.
Krista A., of The Happy Housie blog
55. The words, “Where is the baby?”
Tricia G., of The Good Mama blog
56. Italian restaurant staff singing happy birthday.
Eiseley, of Kat and Eis web series
57. Date bragging “I don’t watch television.”
Kat, of Kat and Eis web series
58. Giant tarantula falling on my face.
Christine Y., of Love Life Surf blog
59. Failing to make a big difference.
Becky R., of Weaving Influence blog
60. Car accident while wearing granny panties.
Emily S, of Just Being Emily blog
61. Hissing, slithering, serpents send me running!
Ashley T., of The Confessions of a Working Mum blog
62. Any medical procedure that involves needles.
Marie, of Normal Everyday Life blog
63. Falling from a great height below.
Elle, of Elle Sees blog
Eli, of Coach Daddy blog