Food.
It’s central to this page you’re on now. If this were a physical page, it would have pizza sauce stains. Butter splotches. A damp ring from a Coke Zero can.
When you have kids, food is central to your existence. And the bigger they get, the more they want. And the more sophisticated their tastes get.
The measure of whether a child is still a baby lies in her palate. If she’s still all chicken nuggets, mac and cheese and anything drenched in ranch, she’s a baby.
I will always remember the day Marie finally piped up in a Mexican restaurant to demand an entree and not a kiddie menu reject. Chicken fingers at Monterrey Mexican Cantina, my burro.
For this installment of the 6 Words series, I asked you to describe your kid(s)’ eating habits in a six-word sentence. As always, I asked bloggers, friends, strangers, and a few strange blogger friends to contribute.
Here’s what you came up with. Now, let’s eat!
1. Meat is not okay, sashimi is.
Vanessa A., author of Crayons in My Coffee blog
2. They live on waffles and love.
Tricia, author of Raising Humans blog
3. Peanut butter and pretzels solve everything.
Caitlin H., author of Chasing Chels blog
4. Kitchen’s closing in fifteen minutes. Eat! (This is the boy child.)
5. You want dessert for eating breakfast? (The girl child.)
Sharon Z., author of Mommy Verbs blog
6. Donuts, ice-cream, pizza, PB&J, rinse, repeat.
Jennifer W., author of Pink When blog
7. I love this. I hate this.
Rachel A., author of Yellow Tennessee blog
8. Snack all day, skip my meals.
Jackie K., author of The Non-Martha Momma Blog
9. Like rapacious pirates with hollow legs.
Nicole G., author of Work in Sweats Mama blog
10. From ketchup sandwiches to filet Mignon.
Debbie, author of Deb Runs blog
11. Stop talking with your mouth full.
Kate H., author of Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine with my Morning Quiet Time? blog
12. But where does it all go?
Leslie A., author of Pampers, Play Dates & Parties blog
13. Sugar is the primary food group.
Andrea M., author of About 100% blog
14. Everything’s ok with butter and sugar. (Scarlet)
15. Shovel it in, spit it out. (Des)
Tamara B., author of Tamara Like Camera blog
16. Wait – food goes in your mouth?
Meredith S., author of The Mom of the Year blog
17. Two eat beautifully, one eats air.
Kathy R., author of My Dishwasher’s Possessed blog
18. Am I feeding kids, or vultures?
Gina T., author of Full of it blog
19. Eden hungry, August sticky, Titus picky.
Christina E., author of Letters from the Nest blog
20. Foodies all…no chicken nuggets here!
Michelle N., author of A Dish of Daily Life blog
21. May we have more sugar please?
Toby S., author of Dumbass News blog
22. Can I use one word? Junkies.
Melissa S., author of Home on Deranged blog
23. Oreo’s aren’t bribe enough for vegetables.
Kristi C., author of Finding Ninee blog
24. Frances: Eats so slowly; savoring each bite!
25. Henry: If I eat; I get candy!
26. Benjamin: Is it rice? If not, no!
Rabia L., author of The Lieber Family blog
27. Peanut butter & jelly sandwich. Now!
Norine M., creator of Science of Parenthood blog
28. For my boy, 14: There’s always Tony Chachere’s within reach.
29. For my girl, 11: Everything tastes better when it’s frozen.
Michele P., author of Old Dog New Tits blog
30. ONE BITE MUST OCCUR BEFORE REFUSAL.
Mel B., author of World According to Mags blog
31. Mom, quit smuggling broccoli into lasagna!
Tamara G., author of Confessions of a Part-time Working Mom blog
32. Elise wants her wings kinda messy.
33. Marie always dreams of crab legs.
34. Grace can destroy 10 chicken nuggets.
Eli P., author of Coach Daddy blog
How would you describe your kids’ eating habits, in six words?
Just a dad ... 
But where does it all go? Loved that. So true. I often wonder that myself!
They are incinerators with dirty fingernails and ponytails. And they always eat the good stuff in the pantry. What’s up with that?
‘They live on waffles and love.’ That is funny stuff there.
*I* could live on waffles and love. So true.
I don’t have kids, so can’t help you there. 😉
I could answer this one from the kids’ perspective, because with food, like a lot of things in life … I’m still a boy.
Coffee should be a food group.
(thanks grandma for getting him hooked… Ugh)
Sriracha makes everything taste much better.
What cuisine can we try today?
(Jamaican is next to try, Thai and Vietnamese are his all-time faves)
There should be a spot on the food pyramid for caffeine, in the very least. Grandmas and teachers are good at getting our kids geeked up on stimulants – then dumping them back on us.
Isn’t Sriracha the spicy stuff?
Love the cuisine sentence you used here. Grace would be most interested in how the Jamaicans do their mac & cheese, and what Thai chicken nuggets are like.
Another great prompt Eli! I could agree/relate with most of these, especially my boys who want dessert after breakfast. Seriously?
Thanks Allie. The main complaint about dessert after breakfast is that my generation didn’t think of it first.
Wait, what about Froot Loops – that’s kind of like dessert *during* breakfast.
Life is short. Make it sweet. I’m always up for a dessert-like start to the day. Chocolate covered crepes anyone? Strawberries make them semi-healthy.
My kids regard non-chocolate-chip-cookies as entirely communistic.
I have the pickiest of all eater and usually find myself asking towards her on this one, “Why oh, why won’t you eat!”
That’s perfect, Janine!
Awesome submissions! I am partial to the pirate one. Hollow legs, for sure! 🙂
Thanks Andrea! I have a suspicion pirates say they’re hungry as children when the get to port, though. It’s like watching Discovery Channel to see my kids eat sometimes.
Too fun! And makes me feel a little more sane while I face another day of battling meals! Thanks for the inclusion 🙂
Yeah, these are a blast, Meredith. And there’s comfort in our collective battle. Fight the good fight! Thanks for playing along.
Hahahaha I’m still cracking up from “I love this. I hate this.” and “Snack all day. Skip all my meals.” Soo true! Thank you for inviting me to participate in this round Eli! I had a lot of fun 🙂
That sentence was the comedy/tragedy of feeding a kid. I love it when the girls scoot past me to nuke a plate of nachos – while I’m cooking dinner!
Beasts.
Glad you were in it, Caitlin.
Marie and I have similar dreams. I could lay into AYCE crab legs any day of the week. Mmmm.
Thanks for including me & my plundering foodies. I love participating and reading the brilliant responses from all of your blogging buddies, even if some of them are a little strange!
Those are good dreams to have, about crab legs. Now I’m hungry (I was hungry before).
You win the Scrabble value award for your pirate sentence, for sure. If they weren’t strange, they wouldn’t be my buddies – you included, NG.
By strange, you mean awesome, right? That’s what I thought.
strange = awesome, doesn’t it? Even for you Hokies.
14: If you cook it, I’ll eat.
16: If you cook it, I’ll skip
You can’t win, can you Teri? You also can’t lose.
Can I confess that sometimes I still like to eat what’s on the kids’ menu? I suppose I have to because I always wind up finishing what the kids inevitably leave on their plates.
These are fantastic. So many resonate with me.
And some restaurants are offering pretty incredible fare on the kids’ menu! It’s bad when I’m drooling with entree envy over my 4 y/o’s plate!
I do too, especially for fast food, because you get a toy. Then, my girls get adult portions and try to finish what I leave (which is never anything).
It’s a good collection, isn’t it? Meant to really hit the spot.
Love these! I’m glad I’m not alone with my rice-eating kid! And I will note that I have always tried to make my kids order something from the kids’ menu that at least has some relationship with the ethnicity of the restaurant. No chicken nuggets at the Mexican place!!
Thanks Rabia! At least rice is cheap and can be heaped with everything from chicken nuggets to stir fry. I would draft legislation to prohibit kids from ordering non-ethnic food in an ethnic restaurant if you elect me to office.
That’s a promise.
Fewer chicken fingers.
More burritos.
These are great, Eli, and I would bet to say that most of them are universal. I vacillate between begging my kids to eat, and urging them to slow down. And most weeks, I think we’re headed for scurvy with the amount of carbohydrates we consume.
They do reach across the country and caste system, don’t they? There also is two gears – nipping and engulfing. I’m so glad we got the word ‘scurvy’ into the comments – that just doesn’t happen often enough!
Thanks Gina!
Scury is perhaps my favorite old timey disease. Ranks right up there with rickets.
You should write a post – my five favorite old-timey diseases.
I’d share it.
The post. Not the rickets. Don’t forget whooping cough, typhoid and the Bubonic plague.
How come I didn’t get to play? 🙂 And now I want pizza…
Didn’t you hear? There’s a $55 fee for entry now.
I am going to put the call out on social media next time. I want to get more in here. I realized just how limited my time was compiling this one.
So many favorite voices left out.
But honestly, I try to get new voices too, find bloggers many of us don’t know, and let them show their stuff. I love that I see clicks in my stats to other pages out of this – that’s the whole idea!
Split a large meat lovers with me, Jenn?
I was just kidding – I think it’s great to share the merriment (we could all use a little these days). I’ll take you up on the pizza though…as long as it has bacon and extra cheese? 🙂
I definitely want to get more, though. More voices in here, so look out for something on social media for the next go-round. Bacon and extra cheese should be a given!
Wait – American or Canadian bacon?
The right answer is both.
I love these 6 words! They make me smile so hard!
Thanks NJ – we need to get you in on the next batch.
Hey, Eli. Thanks for letting me play. It was fun reading everyone’s submissions. Well, I’m off to freeze some grapes for my girl. (Totally serious.)
By the way, if I were writing it for myself ….
More cheese, please. ….. Seriously, I’m waiting.
Hey Michele. Glad you were up for the challenge. People really bring it, don’t they? My girls dig the frozen grapes, too.
We should have done one for the grown ups, eh? You can never have too much cheese.
“One bite must occur before refusal”…I say similar to that all the time but I would have to say mine is: “If it’s mine, they want it.” Happens all the time. Great list – funny and true!!
I had to start making an extra salmon steak – so I’d have a few bites to myself! I wonder what would happen if we acted like we wanted all the asparagus.
Glad you liked it Steph!
These are always fun!! I love the differences between different kids in the same family!!
They’re so much fun, I’m doing them monthly – and will expand the reach a bit next time. If only the kids would eat the same, right? Kind of like prison.
Loved being a part of this list!! I think my fave was “two eat beautifully, one eats air” hahah! SO true here as well!
So glad you were part of it – and I hope people will click your link and see the awesome writing I discovered there. The more kids you have, the greater your chances of becoming either a “eat it or wear it” lunch lady or a short-order cook with as many different orders as you have kids.
Voracious for carbs; hold the green.
Good form, Julia – and a challenge to Nicole for tops in SAT words! My kids are voracious and don’t even know it.
You got a lot of great responses as usual! I particularly loved: “Snack all day. Skip my meals.” Can’t wait to see what’s in store for next month!
I knew it’d be a buffet of words, Deb. I sometimes find myself living that mantra, “snack all day, skip my meals.” I hope to expand the scope a little next month.
Someone told me about this new thing called social media, and that it might be good to get the question out there and see what comes back.
“Let’s complain about anything Mom makes.” Sadly, that is my sentence.
Kids can be the harshest critics, can’t they Dana? And really, from human beings who think ranch/ketchup on anything makes it better?
How do I always miss these 6-word-series??? Very funny:)
I hired the developers of healthcare.gov to get the word out to me. You mean, you didn’t get an email? (Your time will come – I predict in the next month’s batch, in fact).
Good stuff here, eh? I especially love the pirate one.
Thanks so much for including me! I love that you one daughter dreams of crab legs! I have to say I was very envious of the parent who said she had foodies, that must be so nice!! Thanks again, such a fun read!
Thanks so much for playing along, Kathy. Marie got a taste of crab legs and was hooked – she can’t melt butter now without longing for some king crab legs.
Foodie kids are great – but they’re so discriminating. It’s a bad sign when they give you marks for presentation. (It’s a high bar – thanks Guy Fieri!)
(My burro! I got it.) From my perspective as a child it was, “Give me the food, right now.” I was a hungry boy.
Heck mate, that’s what I say now.
It get’s that way sometimes.
these are fantastic. #4 and #8 are my favs )
those come from pretty good writers too – you should check out sharon and jackie if you haven’t yet, beth!
i will for sure, thanks )
What are you saying, Mac and Cheese is for babies? As a matter of fact I just heard a man with white hair even referring to it as a vegetable:
See for yourself: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qMhhDvZXNE#t=47
PS: crab legs sound fantastic right now..!
Yes, Mac & Cheese is a baby thing. And Bojangles considers it a veggie, I think.
Crab legs always sound fantastic. Even after you’ve just had crab legs.
Love all these! For me they are:
4yr old: just give me frozen corn, please.
1yr old: this meal goes on the floor.
Me: I will pour my dinner tonight.
Thanks! And welcome to the crisis center.
Wow, frozen corn – really? I’m sorry to tell you the meal-on-the-floor thing will go on until at least age 13. And I want to be the one who markets the combo package of chicken nuggets, mac & cheese, and a bottle of wine for mom for one low, low price.
Hmmm: 6 words?
1. I ate. Can I have dessert?
2. Popsicles are not allowed for breakfast.
Fun post 🙂
6 words are tougher than 600.
I’m impressed that your kids *ask* about dessert. Mine go all Disney Channel kid and just take. And on the popsicles: What if they’re like strawberry flavored? Because that’s a vegetable or something, I think.
Glad you played along! Look out on your Twitter feed for the next prompt. We need to get you in!
LOL – the pirates with hollow legs is perfect!!
I’ll never forget the day my toddler son plunked himself down at the dinner table, folded his arms and announced “What is this crap?! Not eating!”
You’re right dear son — see you at breakfast. Night.
At breakfast, he ate cereal, an banana, a cheese string, yogurt and glass of orange juice! LOL
He was starving. Lesson learned.
When his younger sister pulled the same stunt a few years later, he just turned to her and said “you should just go put your pj’s on.” Ha!!
I think Nicole’s sentence is the clubhouse leader. And I have never heard a Rory Story (like that?) that wasn’t stellar, either. Bed without dinner sounds worse than bamboo shoots under the fingernails to me.
Love that the lesson got so efficiently delivered, though.
“What is this crap? Not eating!” Love it.
Kristi’s Oreo’s aren’t bribe enough made me laugh.
Me too – because I’m pretty sure I’d accept an Oreo bribe myself.