Guest Post: Rabia of the Liebers Spotlights an Awesome Dad


photo credit: Kalexanderson via photopin cc
photo credit: Kalexanderson via photopincc

It’s good to hear about a good man.

There’s a lot of bad dad ink out there on the Internet. And on TV. I’m looking at you, Disney Dad. Father who jams too much dish detergent into the dish washer in the detergent ad. Don’t get me started on you, Charlie Sheen.

You know today’s guest blogger on The CD by her thoughtful and funny posts, and from the thoughtful, faithful comments she leaves your blog: She’s Rabia Lieber.

She writes the blog The Liebers, where she chronicles the tales of Frances, Henry and Benjamin, and the parents who raise them. She explains the differences between ground hogs and mothers and other mysteries of life.

Rabia’s as thoughtful as she is talented, and is always willing to help out her fellow writer. Check out her #TuesdayTen linkup, too.

Please give her warm welcome, and be sure to take a trip to The Liebers.

Rabia Lieber
Rabia Lieber

When the kids were little and they made that noise, (you know the one that means they were filling their diapers?) I used to say to my husband, “Your son/daughter is calling for you!!” And he would do it to me just as often. It was a little family joke.

We’ve often referred to the kids as belonging to the other parent.  Mostly when they do something weird.  “She’s your daughter!!”  I have heard of parents that do this in a negative way, like when the kid does something bad, but we’ve never meant it in a bad way; only to be funny.

When Eli asked me if I’d like to do a guest blog for him, I asked if he had any suggestions or guidelines.  He threw out a few questions for me, but the one that really stuck was “What kind of men do you want your sons to grow up to be?”  That question really resonated with me.

On my blog, I tend to not talk about my husband very much. He is a private person. He has a facebook page, but he rarely posts to it.  He just doesn’t see why people are so interested in the minutiae of other people’s lives.  I wish I could be less interested in it, that’s for sure!!

A while back, Ken and I were in the kitchen. It was a snow day for the kids and for me and it was his usual day off.  I was making dinner for that night and he was getting dinner prepped for the next night. (Note: I want my sons to grow up knowing that Daddy cooks as well as Mommy, unless we’re talking about the grill, and then Daddy’s food is better than Mommy’s.)

toys
photo credit: @Doug88888 via photopin cc

The kids were supposed to be cleaning up toys in the dining room, which of course meant that Henry (my six year old and middle child) was playing.

He came running into the kitchen and showed me his knee, “Mommy! I have a booboo!”  I told him he’d be fine and to go finish cleaning up.

A few minutes later when my hands were fully covered in raw chicken, he came back. This time yelling, “Mommy!! It’s bleeeeeeeeeeeeding!”

I got out my imaginary magnifying glass to examine the 1/8 inch line on his knee that looked slightly red.  Henry tends to exaggerate his wounds.  This one was truly no big deal.  I said, “Henry, someday you are going to be the president of the itty-bitty booboo club and your Mommy and Daddy are going to be SO proud!”

He got mad and stomped out of the kitchen yelling, “So you like it when I get booboos!?! Fine!!”

Ken and I looked at each other and burst out laughing.  Henry tends to exaggerate more than just his booboos.  He is intense.  He gets it from his father.  While Ken and I were laughing, I said, “Do you see what I mean when I say he’s just like you?  I’m going to start calling him mini-Kenny!”

Henry is just like his dad in temperament. He is exactly the opposite of me.  I am a very laid back, go with the flow, kind of person.  I have been known to get in the car to leave for a trip without having once looked at a map or directions.  Ken will ask where we are going and my reply is, “Well I just figured we’d head East and follow the signs.”  Ken on the other hand not only prints out the directions; he studies them and memorizes them before a trip.  He likes structure and well laid out plans. Plans annoy me.

photo credit: eyesore9 via photopin cc
photo credit: eyesore9 via photopin cc

Ken has worked in retail for as long as I’ve known him.  He likes it and he’s good at it.  He likes helping people.  For a while he was the manager at a retail electronics shop.  He had stock numbers for most of the common items memorized.  Actually he still does. Try walking up to him and asking him for the stock number for a pair of 9-volt batteries.

He left the electronics business when Frances was born so he could stay home with her. He taught her to like geeky television and chicken livers. I may never forgive him.  But Frances still talks about those times like she remembers them vividly.  She was not quite two when he went back to work and she started day care.

When he worked in electronics a woman brought in her cordless phone.  She wanted to replace it because it had stopped working.  Ken could have sold her a brand new setup for about $100. After all; that’s what she came in for.  Instead he cleaned out the terminals and sold her a new battery for about $10.

Good for business? Talking a customer out of a $100 purchase and into a $10 one? Some people see that as a dumb thing to do.  But I’m pretty sure that woman appreciated it and told her friends. Ken will never know if sales increased or decreased because of that transaction, but it doesn’t really matter because it was the right thing to do.  He is honest and fair and confused when I comment on it because he doens’t understand why it’s a big deal.

I want my sons to grow up to be like their father. Good men who work hard to love and support their families.  Men who do the right thing, even if it’s not the expected or popular thing to do. Men who memorize the directions to our destination three days before we leave the house. OK, maybe not that one.

real father

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56 Comments Add yours

  1. Sounds like you have a good man there Rabia. Chicken livers eh? I still gag at the thought of having to eat tripe.

      1. A long time ago in a country far, far away tripe was a staple part of the diet. Ate it once, didn’t like it and went to bed rather than eat the horrible stuff.

      2. Eli Pacheco says:

        Culturally, Hispanics used to have to eat a dish called menudo, made of undesirable beef parts “the man” let him have – why do we still eat this today? We’ve arrived.

      3. It’s time to throw of the shackles of conformity and cultural conformity, give ‘the man’ his undesirable beef bits back and eat McDonalds. Oh, hang on we might not be changing too much at all there.

      4. Eli Pacheco says:

        If I must eat undesirable bits, let them be formed into patties and topped with cheese.

      5. What the eyes don’t see the heart doesn’t grieve over, or in this case the stomach. Lots of melted cheese, tomato sauce, pickles………..

      6. Eli Pacheco says:

        Melted cheese makes everything better, mate.

    1. Rabia Lieber says:

      He is a good man! Especially if her remembers to eat the chicken livers when I’m not home! 🙂

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        I just don’t think there’ve ever been chicken livers in my house. ever.

      2. The sacrifices we have to make to keep happiness in a marriage. 😉

  2. Rabia, I loved hearing more about Ken here today and I know I do talk about Kevin sometimes on my blog, but other times I keep a lot of stuff private, because he is a lot like your husband in that way and also feels the same way about Facebook, too. Like you sadly, wish I could say the same, but we ll you know 🙂

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      All men should hate Facebook.

    2. Rabia Lieber says:

      He was on Facebook long before I was, but he never uses it. His wall is full of comments from me and not much else!

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        Facebook is for girls. and old people, apparently. That’s what the kids say.

  3. Kim says:

    I loved reading this!!! Rabia, you are so right – so many TV shows and movies make dads out to be idiots or worthless around the house. Awesome that your husband is the complete opposite. My husband is exactly the kind of man I want my boys to grow up to be like (and I already see it!). And, I know that Eli is another incredible dad and role model.
    Hooray to all the great men in our lives and in the lives of our children!!

    1. Rabia Lieber says:

      I couldn’t be a great mom without a great dad standing by my side!

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        What’s he think of the post, Rabia?

    2. Eli Pacheco says:

      We dads are trying to overcome the Billy Ray Cyruses one daddy/daughter date at a time, Kim!

  4. Rabia Lieber says:

    Ken stayed home with Frances when she was little. He went back to work when she was almost 2, but she swears she still remembers being home with Daddy and him taking care of her. I love that she’s held on to those memories.

  5. ksbeth says:

    fabulous and funny )

      1. Rabia Lieber says:

        *blush* You are too sweet!!

      2. Eli Pacheco says:

        You get lots of love when you guest post up in here.

  6. Loved reading about your family, Rabia!
    Great prompt, E! I want my son to be true to himself, compassionate, have respect for others, work hard, have fun, know how to operate a GPS and not be too proud to ask for directions.
    My husband deleted his Facebook account after a week or so. He found it totally annoying that acquaintances from another lifetime wanted to be friends all of a sudden.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Not to mention we’re just spoon-feeding data to Marky Mark in the Facebook headquarters.

    2. Rabia Lieber says:

      Thanks Tamara! My husband has that same issue with Facebook, but he hasn’t deleted his yet.

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        I don’t think Zuck will let us delete our Facebooks, will he?

  7. tamaralikecamera says:

    Aw! I love the story about the $10 battery. I love all of the stories from you. I think Des is so set because he has a great father and two great grandfathers and even a great great-grandfather.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      That’s four more great male role models more than some kids, T-Bow.

    2. Rabia Lieber says:

      That story has always made me proud of him. Especially the part where he doesn’t understand why it’s a big deal.

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        He’s kind of a prince.

  8. Trish says:

    I love hearing about the man behind the women behind the blog 😉 It sounds like you got a good one!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Next week on Coach Daddy: The butcher behind the man behind the woman behind the dog catcher behind the lumberjack behind the blogger.

      Meh – he still won’t be as cool as Rabia’s guy.

    2. Rabia Lieber says:

      Ha! Trish! Your description just cracked me up!!

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        I’m gonna have to check out Trish’s stuff.

  9. Kristi Campbell - findingninee says:

    Eli, great to see Rabia guest posting here today and cheers to great daddies. I know that too many kids have fathers that aren’t very interested in being present for their kids and I love the reminder that there are awesome ones out there (mine is pretty good too in case it sounded like I was implying he wasn’t). Also Eli, did you admit to eating menudo? GROSS.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I never admitted it – and my family couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t partake. Can’t I just have what the dog’s having? Pretty sure those are more desirable animals parts.

    2. Rabia Lieber says:

      All the cool kids are posting over here at Eli’s blog! It was an honor just to have been asked! 😉

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        Cool kids? It feels like detention hall sometimes. Wait, those are the cool kids, right?

  10. Love this, Rabia! What a love letter to Ken (he’s probably embarrassed). I really appreciate a peak into your marriage & your parenting and seeing the obvious – that you both love each other, your family, and have a good sense of humor.

    1. Rabia Lieber says:

      I think he felt better about it being over here rather than on my blog. I might have accidentally implied that fewer people would see it. Good thing he doesn’t understand how blogging works!! LOL!

      1. Eli Pacheco says:

        Psh, no one comes over here, Rabes. It’s a dude blog.

    2. Eli Pacheco says:

      It takes a special man to love a blogger.

  11. Sandy Ramsey says:

    I’m with you, Rabia! My husband and I are the opposite of you and yours. He’s the laid back one, I’m the temperamental control freak. My son, fortunately, is a good mix of the two. If he grows up to be the man his Dad is, I’m quite alright with that. He will be fun, loyal, logical, incredibly smart, easy going, adventurous, strong, and a good friend. He’s already handsome….:)

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I’m still waiting on a growth spurt, personally. And a handsome spurt.

  12. Nina says:

    Sounds like a keeper! I love hearing dad-praising stories like these. I think it’s normal to vent, but we also need to acknowledge how much dads do. It then becomes a cycle: give props to dads, dads feel good and contribute more, which then leads to more props, etc.

    I was just telling my husband the other day how I’m noticing which of my friends’ relationships seem the most strained not so much based on what they vent about, but in how they vent. For instance, if a woman vents and disrespects her husband, I don’t think it’s right. It’s fine to disagree and call him out on how he can improve, but to do so disrespectfully isn’t cool.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      What happens when a dad/husband calls a mom/wife out on how SHE can improve?

  13. Megan Walker says:

    This makes my heart feel warm and fuzzy. What a great man!!!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Let’s hear it for the boy!

  14. AJ Cattapan says:

    Nice to hear about some good fathers! I was lucky to have a great one, and it’s fun to see how good my brothers are with their kids.

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      Great dads raise great dads, but great men can become great dads even without one.

  15. Ginny Marie says:

    Now that is geekiness at its best. I love how Ken saved his customer money! I missed this guest post and am a huge fan of Rabia. Thanks for sharing it this week!

    1. Eli Pacheco says:

      I thought it was the perfect post to share … thankful to Rabia for writing it and for your visit, GM!

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