Guest Post: Rea of REAlity Bites, on the Stay-at-home Dad

photo credit: Kalexanderson via photopin cc

It’s so easy to get caught up in something good.

Not just pizza buffets and Amy Adams movie marathons. It’s easy to do with parenthood. It’s good to jump in emphatically when you become a parent, but you have to find a way to do so with two feet – and your identity intact.

Today’s guest blogger, Rea of REAlity Bites, gets it.

A young mom to a boy named Reiko – whose name means love and gratitude – balanced motherhood and self-preservation, even tossing in photography and her blog. She shares with me an appreciation of all things Jennifer Lawrence.

Many of you read her and love her already; many more of you will, after you read her guest post (and check out her site).

Today, Rea’s here to tell us about her husband – the stay-at-home dad. I want to share pizza and hot wings with this guy. He’s an honorary member of the Coach Daddy club level membership, for sure.

Please give Rea a warm welcome on the CD, and take a look around REAlity Bites, too.

photo credit: JD Hancock via photopin cc

WHEN THE HUSBAND BECOMES A STAY AT HOME DAD

I’ve contemplated so many times to quit my corporate job for me to work or stay home with my family. I’ve been working for 5 consecutive years and I figured it’s about time that I spend more time with my three-year old son. But I’ve got to admit, I’m not at all domesticated. I can’t don’t cook. I can’t don’t do the laundry. I can pretty much clean the entire house though and take care of my son even if it means letting him watch Dora The Explorer or Peppa Pig on YouTube.

My husband, on the other hand, has been working for almost 8 years. However, in the last 2 years, he’s been jumping from one employer to another. Because of that constant job-jumping then job hunting, I thought of just telling him to stop. I was in the midst of a really heavy workload and I just needed someone I can trust to take care of my our son while I’m burning the midnight oil. And then like an epiphany, I told my husband… “Hey honey, how about this? Why don’t I just go to work and you? STAY HOME?”

It was like a bombshell. He fell silent and hesitated at first. In my mind, I could think of a million and one reasons why he wouldn’t agree. Like 1) Men’s pride? 2) Who’s gonna pay the bills? 3) Where do I get money for my cigarettes? 4) You mean I get to clean the poop? … 5,487) Are you serious? What are your parents gonna say about me???

Okay, that’s actually just me thinking out loud. Before he could say anything more, I told him I’d take care of the bills and that I already told my mom and she’s fine with it. All he needs to do is stay home and be a father to our son. I’m not even asking him to work at home. That sealed the deal.

Well, who would actually say that staying at home with a needy and sometimes whiny kid is easy? Let me share to you how my husband has been so far with his new role as.. a STAY AT HOME DAD.

1. I got home one night at around 9PM to see him already sleeping with a headset on while our son was watching The Simpsons. Hmmm, he must have been very tired, was what I told myself. He woke up and told me he was so tired from cleaning the entire house. When I looked at the floor, there were toys and cupcake wrappers everywhere then I looked at him with dagger-like eyes. He said, “no matter what I do, there are just TOO MANY toys in this house.” Well, he was absolutely right.

2. To be fair, I would give him time to regain his sanity by allowing him to go out on a weekend. He could either play video games or drink with his friends. It was fine by me. He could go home late, I wouldn’t mind. As long as it’s a weekend and I’m home to be with our son.

One week night, actually it was already 2am, I suddenly woke up to find out that he was nowhere to be found. Bed – no. Bathroom – no. Front porch – nooo! Where the heck is this man?! Wait, phone – no! He left it. I waited for an hour and he arrived. He said he just went out to play computer games with his friends (our neighbors). Yeah, until 3am.

3. I texted him to say that I already ate in the office and to not wait for me at dinner time. When I got home, he asked..“Did you eat?” I said, “I told you so. I don’t want to get hungry on my way home.” Then all of a sudden he said, “WHY DO YOU HAVE TO EAT THERE WHEN I ALREADY COOKED FOR YOU? I told you we have food here. Now, who’s gonna eat that food?” PAUSE. SILENCE. Nuff said. Without saying a word, I went to the kitchen and ate the food he prepared. Told myself, wow.. fathers have meltdowns too you know.

4. One Saturday morning, I was so tired from working on a Friday night and when I arrived, I was greeted by a very enthusiastic look! Tada, surprise general house cleaning!!! He said, “I already started! C’mon!” Oh dear, how lucky can I get! That’s right exactly when my eyeballs were about to jump out of my eyes. I was so sleepy but thought I couldn’t anyway because there were already too much dirt and dust all around. Talk about an obedient husband!

5. I told my husband to take some time practicing the alphabets, shapes, numbers, and colors with our son. He’s already going to school by next year so it’s important that he learns the basics from home. When I arrived home one night, oh look! What a great way to learn numbers and shapes and wow, a neon color.. ON.OUR.BEDROOM.WALL. Seriously? Yes, and it’s not a pretty sight. You ready? See photo below. Now that’s what we call — a freedom wall! The kid was ecstatic!

6. I swear this is the last one. Last Saturday, he cooked our breakfast then I washed the dishes. He borrowed my phone, hacked my Facebook and posted a status message saying gwapa ko (means I am beautiful), showed it to me, laughed out loud, then deleted it.. after a couple of people already commented and liked it. So you can say he’s really enjoying huh?

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How’s that for a stay at home dad? People.. more than anything else, he cooks, he cleans, he takes care of the kid, he throws hilarious jokes, he does something really silly, he fixes the toy trucks, he washes the dishes, he puts the kid to bed, he sings nursery rhymes, he reminds me to spend time for our family, he’s a handy man! And certainly, being a stay at home dad doesn’t make him less of a man. In fact, it makes him even more than who he is now and I’m totally proud of him. He does all the work at home when I need to work in the office or catch up on sleep… or even when I need some time alone or with friends. NOT BAD, eh?