
I know – that one was easy.
In the A to Z Challenge, G is for Guest Post. Convenient, that this falls on Wednesday, my usual spot for guest posts. Especially because my guest poster today – Robin, of Masshole Mommy – has no Gs in her blog name.
She’s here writing about life before her two Gs though – her sons. What is a G, you ask? Let’s refer to the Urban Dictionary for all my homies from the other side of the tracks (and by that I mean any neighborhood nicer than mine):
G – (jee) A real G can be defined as someone who is true to themself and stood the test of time as a robust individual, whom did not change under rough circumstances.
Not sure having Robin as your mama qualifies, gents.
Don’t let the blog name fool you. They’re all Massholes up there. She’s also a mommy. Sure, she’s who I’d pick in an alley fight outside Fenway Park. She’s the combination trophy wife/ball-buster any American bloke would be happy to match up with.
I’m honored to have her in this space today. She’s kind of a big deal.
She’s funny, she’s smart. She drives fast and doesn’t take shit from anyone. And once upon a time, before she became a mom … well, I’l let her take it from here. Please give a warm welcome to Robin today on the CD.
One day, not too long ago, I found myself asking my youngest son if he had just eaten a rock. Talk about something I never thought I would ever say. Seriously, a rock?!?!
Anyhow, that got me to thinking about what life was like before I became a mom and how much it’s changed since I did.
Before I became a mom…….
- I never had to pick anyone else’s nose.
- I actually fit very nicely into size 2 jeans and had no idea how much things would change after I had kids (and how little I would actually care about it).
- I had never been pooped on, peed on, spit on, puked on, drooled on, sneezed on or had boogers wiped on me.
- I had no idea how much I would enjoy singing along to They Might Be Giants while I’m driving in the car. Even when I’m alone.
- I had the luxury of being able to pee and take a shower with the bathroom door shut!
- I could wear heels every day – and rocked ’em. These days the only shoes I “rock” are the ones that keep me flat on the ground.
- I thought nothing about stopping at McDonald’s at 2 am for a Big Mac & fries.
- I never found little bits of ground up Cheez-It’s or Goldfish crackers in the bottom of my bag.
- I was able to have a sick day (or more importantly, a “mental health” day). These days, if I take a day off…..wait a second – I don’t get days off. Crap.
- I totally took getting a good nights sleep for granted.
I’m a completely different person than I was ten years ago before I had my first son, but you know what? I wouldn’t change it for anything.
Oh, and for the record, he did eat a rock.
# # #
Robin has lived on the south shore of Massachusetts for her entire life She is a mom to two energetic little boys ages 7 & 10 and she loves to share her family’s adventures on her website, Masshole Mommy. She loves to travel, she’s a major Disney fanatic and absolutely loves 80’s movies! When she’s not busy chasing her boys around, you will most likely find her in a zumba class or at the dojo working towards her black belt in krav maga. She is a self proclaimed geek and enjoys sharing her love of pop culture, especially Star Wars, with her children.
Life totally has never been the same here either and the rock didn’t even surprise me as like you anything goes here, too!
Strange items go up the nose sometimes, too, don’t they Janine? Or is that just us?
Nope not just you at all! 😉
Big sisters sometimes coax these actions …
For us it wasn’t a rock that was eaten, it was canned dog food. The dog was sitting shaking uncontrollably, staring at something behind the screen door. When we looked, there sat was my-eight-month old granddaughter eating handfuls of the dog’s food. I love your list of what you didn’t do before you were married, Robin 😀
At least there’s nutritional value in dog food – protein, or something.
I am pretty sure my kids eat dog food on a regular basis….
If they play outfield for the Red Sox someday, you’ll have revolutionized childhood nutrition.
That’s true, but the poor dog was almost having a nervous breakdown 😀
My g reaction to this is girls. They don’t eat rocks. Well, some do I am sure, but not mine. Well, not more than once.
A rock in the intestine is better than one through a window. I think Emerson might have said that. Maybe Sam Kinison.
Hi Robin, nice to meet you. The joys of motherhood are manyfold. 😉
You’d dig her place, mate. Check it out.
I second that, she is pretty awesome.
So much love around here … it’s like a commune with pizza.
I will Mate.
Thanks for having me today 🙂 I am very proud to call myself a Masshole!!
You … rock it, Robin.
Robin:
Congratulations on ever having been able to wear size 2 and rock high heels! Not many girls can say that, pre-baby or not!
Did your son have a reason why he was eating a rock? Just curious!
Eli:
Thanks for educating me on the “G”, if prompted I would have said it had something to do with going on a roller coaster and getting sick.
We boys don’t need a reason, Tamara. Gs are definitely different from Gs!
fantastic post. and as a mother and kindy teacher, i have seen unbelievable things go up noses, ears and into mouths.
you could have a page on your blog dedicated to these items, beth.
Being a Mum is NOT for sissies and there’s NO goin’ back…I’m going to visit.
Its a great idea to have a Guest Post during the A to Z Blog Challenge. One less blog post to think about, eh? Cleva!!!
I’ve a few tricks up my sleeve, G.
I just picked a nose this morning and thought when did I become that person? Then realized it was shortly after that child was born!
My kids called me “moco man” – the Spanish equivalent of “booger man.” This meant anything picked out of their noses got wiped on my shirt.
Fistbump, fellow Masshole!
Oddly, even though I STILL haven’t had children, apparently I have had a lot of parenting experiences. I guess that’s what happens when you borrow other people’s kids for a living … (And I never fit into size 2 anything. Probably even when I WAS 2.)
I forget you’re a Masshole, Jenn, with all the God stuff going on.
I have layers. I’m not sure which is deeper. 😉
We should examine this, Jenn.
Probably. 🙂 But I’m pretty sure I know which is deeper. It’s just that the other one is more prevalent at the moment.
The Masshole part dominates when the Red Sox and Yankees play, doesn’t it?
TRUE.
A rock in the hand is worth two in the gut… or something. I may have misquoted. Great post! Something else we never worried about before kids was wiping someone else’s bum!
And they never warn us about this, do they?
Kids don’t come with instructions as you well know. They don’t teach it in parenting courses, either.
If aardvarks and zebras can do this parenting thing without a primer, we ought to be okay, right?
So my kids calling me G Dog isn’t an insult? Not sure about the dog part.
Holy smokes, Elizabeth – if your kids call you G Dog, you’re golden. And I don’t mean golden retriever.
I think.. I’m a G!! I really do.
Robin, I’m a Masshole too, but I’m a western Masshole which is probably worse because everyone else around here drives and walks like they’re constipated so it’s unexpected when it’s me in my white minivan.
I LOVE They Might Be Giants, by the way.
Sorry he ate a rock. My dog did that once!
You are certainly a G, yo.
Maybe it’s all the kale.
I like the They Might Be Giants on Malcolm in the Middle!
Fist pump! 😉
Love her!!! She has the most amazing adventures with her boys. Makes me want to move to Boston. 🙂
Don’t we all?