Just call Grace the big spender.
We two perused the gift shop at a Greensboro Grasshoppers game on Independence Day. On daddy/daughter dates, I’d usually spring for a little somethin’ somethin’, so long as it didn’t get too pricey. Today, though, the kid came fully funded.
Or so she thought.
Grace snapped up a pack of Grasshoppers tattoos. Before I could fish my wallet out of my cargo pants, Grace tossed a gold coin on the counter. “This ought to cover it,” you could near her thinking. “Keep the change.”
The bewildered cashier inspected the coin, one side, then the next.
“I’m sorry dear,” she said, unable to hide the smile. “We don’t take Euros!”
Kid’s worldy. Gotta give her that.
1. Why don’t they make two-dollar bills anymore?
They still do. And as of posting time, a two-dollar bill’s exchange rate would be 1.77 Euros.
Known as “Toms” because of Thomas Jefferson’s mug on them, two-dollar bills debuted in 1862. So too did the one-dollar bill. Folks weren’t sold on paper money for a while, though. They’re still printed today, but only when the Secretary of the Treasury orders them.
After the Great Depression, two bucks became a dubious price point. Politicians used the bills as bribery for votes. A Tom also covered expenses for a bet at the track and, get this, a trick from a lady of the night.
So Johns used Toms in scandalous ways.
Today, it’s probably not even enough for a pack of Grasshoppers tats.
2. How can wool be virgin?
By waiting for love.
The similarities to other virgin stuff (you know, like olive oil) are close enough to make dad scratch the back of his head a couple of times as he writes this. Virgin wool comes from the first time a lamb gets sheared.
That wool proves the softest and highest quality the sheep will ever produce. Also, wool never used for anything before could be considered virgin. Adult sheep can produce virgin wool, given that it’s not been processed, used or woven before.
3. Did they take ‘bullet’ and ‘gun’ out of the song “Pumped Up Kicks”?
Foster the People’s song debuted in 2011. Many radio stations pulled it from rotation after the Sandy Hook school shooting a year later.
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You better run, better run, outrun my gun
Lead singer Mark Foster told CNN the song addresses teenage mental illness.
“I was scared to see where the pattern was headed if we didn’t start changing the way we were bringing up the next generation,” said Foster, an advocate for stricter gun control.
Foster the People bass player Cubbie Fink said his cousin was at Columbine High in Colorado for the 1999 shooting. “To be able to have a song to talk about this stuff has been good for us,” Fink said.
4. Do you pour a pitcher with your left hand?
You know how many times I pretended to pour a pitcher to figure out this answer?
I’m left-handed. If the pitcher is heavy, I’ll use my left hand. If I’m pouring into a large cup, though, I’ll pour with my right, so I can secure the cup. When I attempt to text with one hand, it’s my right. Why is that? I eat cookies with my right, I think.
Probably so I can protect against thieves with my dominant hand.
5. Will firemen turn their sirens on for a taco sale?
We might have just discovered the primary reason I could never serve as a firefighter.
Taco sales aren’t technically emergencies. Firefighters can, though, drive trucks for taco runs, within their designated response territory. They’ll deploy lights and sirens only when in response to an emergency call, though. I won’t even speed for a taco sale. And you know I love tacos.
Not even for One Euro Taco Night Santa Maria Eastside.