The winding roads that unfurl before us.
We rode them on this trip to Roanoke, descending from the top of Mill Mountain to the stately St. Andrew’s Catholic Church below. We couldn’t see our destination at first, but took faith in the ribbon of the road down the mountain.
For those of you new to this blog, #GirlsRock is a series of interviews with women who do incredible things, from musicians to writers to bloggers to those who take a dream and make it a reality. Read other #GirlsRock posts here.
Today’s guest knows all about those winding roads that bring us to our fate.
She’s Kitt O’Malley. Many of you know her for her blog, on how to Learn, Love & Live With Bipolar Disorder. It’s an incredible and inspiring journey. She’s here today to tell us a little about the roads she’s taken. Please give her a warm CD welcome.
Eli: When you were little, what did you think you’d grow up to be?
Kitt: When I was very young, perhaps 4 or 5, I was playing make believe as a nurse. My father told me that I didn’t want to be a nurse, for nurses did all the dirty work and didn’t get paid. Instead, he told me to be a doctor. From that time on I wanted to be a doctor. By the time I was in high school, I wanted to become a neurosurgeon and entered UCLA as a pre-med honor’s biochemistry major because biochem majors had the highest acceptance rates to medical school.
Didn’t last, though. Changed my mind freshman year. I still haven’t figured out what I want to be when I grow up.
Eli: Join the club on that one, Kitt. What changed your mind, though, freshman year?
Kitt: Freshman year at UCLA, I became severely depressed and suicidal. I needed to get off the speeding train I was on, and take a break. Using mononucleosis as my excuse, as I did have mono, and was ashamed to tell my parents I was suicidal, I took a semester off, then went to a community college part time for a year before transferring to UC Berkeley as a legal studies major – a much better fit for me at the time.
Eli: Did you have a support system outside your family? Where did you find the strength to find another path?
Kitt: I was ashamed, so I didn’t tell my parents at the time. I felt like a failure. My parents had high expectations of me, as did I. In fact, I didn’t tell my parents until years later. I did go home every weekend, though, for I lived in the dorms across the street from fraternity row, and couldn’t sleep because of all the noise on the weekends. Plus, I had a boyfriend in my hometown. My friends from high school I confided in. They supported me unconditionally. They made me promise to get help from student health services.
When I had a plan, the means, a time, and a note, I realized I really was about to attempt suicide, so I called a friend to sit with me until my dorm resident assistant got me in to see a UCLA cognitive psychologist. His cognitive exercises helped me get through the crisis by rewriting the depressive thoughts.
Eli: That’s incredible, Kitt. What was that rewriting process like?
Kitt: Honestly, just regular CBT exercise. Columns on a page. Irrational thought in one column. Rewrite the thought to one more rational. For example, the world would be better off without me is irrational. The world would NOT be better off without me. Those who love me would be devastated by losing me. Honestly, I didn’t deeply believe the rewritten thoughts until over a decade later when struggling as a psychotherapist. I KNEW that it would damage my adolescent clients if I killed myself. Then it occurred to me that if it would hurt them, it would no doubt hurt those I loved.
Then it occurred to me that if it would hurt them, it would no doubt hurt those I loved.
As for how it impacted the path I took as a mental health advocate, I’m not so sure. Many years – three decades, in fact – went by before I called myself a mental health advocate. That said, I did advocate for mental health when I was 18 as a UCLA medical center volunteer and as a UCLA peer health counselor trainee, in my mid to late 20’s as a psychotherapist, from 18 on as a patient, in my 30s to now as a wife and as a mother, and most recently, as a daughter.
In caring for myself and others, I advocate for mental health, whether or not I’m active as a volunteer for NAMI or active online as a social media advocate or as a blogger.
Eli: If you could enact one bill, one piece of legislation, or anything like it, to improve the state of our mental healthcare landscape today, what would you propose?
Kitt: Parity for the treatment of brain disorders and mental illnesses, including personality disorders, which are poorly understood and stigmatized by clinicians. Integrating mental health care into medical care. Coordinate care among providers and make it easier for a family to be a part of treatment planning. Create more quality long-term residential treatment options for adults unable to care for themselves because of their illness.
Right now we have a revolving door of hospitalization or incarceration and homelessness. We must address the population who needs support the most, at least to provide basic needs.
Eli: You’re on the ground, advocating for better mental health. What are you seeing?
Eli: Kitt, thank you so much for taking the time for this. What advice would you give girls about finding a way to make a difference for a cause they hold dear?
KO: Education and advocacy. Volunteer work. I used to volunteer as a teen. As a geek, I love education.
Excellent interview. Thanks for posting.
Thanks for checking it out, Liam. I love the work Kitt does.
Liam, I agree that Eli did a great job interviewing. He’s a wonderful support for many of us online writers.
It was a pleasure to talk to you, Kitt.
Thank you, Eli!
Wonderful interview… Nice to meet Miss Kit! Thanks for the introduction Rob! And more power to you Kitt! ❤
Glad you liked it, Courtney.
Hello Kitt, wish you well and all the best in your mission for improvement in the mental health system.
She’s doing great things, Pat. Thanks for stopping by.
Thank you, Bloggy Cat!
Wonderful interview, Eli! Nice to meet Kitt here. Amazing work you’re doing, Kitt. I love to read stories like yours where you’ve taken a difficult/challenging and scary time in your life and turned it into a passion to help others.
Thanks, Lisa! I love Kitt’s story. Inspiring when someone can come back from adversity and advocate for the cause and help others. Isn’t that the ultimate level of self-arrival?
Thank you, Lisa. Interesting to read the interview and see my path since I was a little girl. Our lives are journeys. We don’t always know what we are learning while we are going through it. Later on, we can make sense of it, and see the wisdom earned.
We did this a while back too, Lisa. So I was glad it got onto a boosted platform such as the #AtoZChallenge to get more eyes on Kitt’s story, and awareness of what she does!
What a great interview with a wonderful advocate for those with mental health issues. As Kitt says, one finds so many people with loved ones who are suffering, yet mental health issues are still stigmatized and underaddressed. #Girlsrock indeed.
Thanks, Elizabeth. So much progress, yet so far left go to.
Thanks, Elizabeth. Though mental health issues are still stigmatized, I believe them to be less so than in the past. Without a doubt, those with the greatest need, for example those homeless and untreated, do not receive the care or resources they need. I’m grateful to receive mental health care and to have a husband and extended family who support me.
I agree, Kitt. I would not have been so honest in public decades ago when I was first diagnosed. I also benefit from the support of my family, and feel for those who cannot find or afford support.
I was so ashamed of being suicidal at 18 that I hid it from my parents.
That’d be a tough disclosure at any age, let alone the teen years.
That was me, too, Kitt. There was something wrong with me that I couldn’t tell anyone.
Tough when you hide it from the world. When you appear to have it together, but do not.
Those are who I worry most about, Elizabeth. Wish there was a way, a place to go.
Even people who aren’t homeless struggle to pay for mental health care, because health insurance carriers don’t always cover it.
Yes. It’s a middle class issue, too.
And, working class. It’s an issue, period.
Girls rock indeed.
Saw you had some trouble posting on the A-Z comments. The last post just went back to the A-Z post.
If you like genealogy, my post is here: From 1840 to 1880, GERMANS were the largest group of immigrant
Glad you liked the interview! I think I’ve solved my link issues.
That’s when my German immigrant ancestors came to the US. Corresponded with the immigration waves of the Irish. Why both my parents are Irish-German Americans.
oh well, I tried. LINK
how wonderful and brave you are, kitt. what a great advocate, helping others. thanks for sharing this, eli –
Beth – so glad you liked it. Kitt is doing wonderful things.
Thank you so much!
If you like genealogy, my post is here: <a href="https://rooted-by-blood-and-dna.
Saw you had some trouble posting on the A-Z comments.
Hi Mary – I figured it out! Thanks
Another genealogy link. Cool!
Kitt, thank you for sharing this and for being an advocate. I look forward to reading your blog.
I think you’ll like her posts, Court.
Thanks, Court! I’m just about to check out other commenter’s blogs.
Reblogged this on Kitt O'Malley and commented:
Eli Pacheco, Coach Daddy, interviewed me for his #AtoZchallenge, G is for #GirlsRock post. Thank you, Eli! Eli rocks, too.
I absolutely love Kitt and her blog! Kitt knows I could write an entire blog post about how awesome she is, but I’m walking my dog right now so I should probably call it a day. thanks for interviewing her!
I love Kitt and her blog too, Dyane. Great to see you. Thanks for checking it out!
What an excellent interview! I’ve appreciated Kitt’s blog for a while now, and appreciate even more seeing where she comes from.
Glad you liked it, Cassandra. Kitt’s story carries some inspiration, doesn’t it?
Thank you so much, Cassandra!
Education, and advocacy- definitely!!
Kitt’s fighting the good fight.
Both are SO important! Thank you.
You’re welcome, Kitt.
KItt, it has been such a blessing for me to see how God has given your life meaning and purpose in your work as a mental health advocate. Those of us with mental illness desperately need folks like you speaking the truth in love even when it seems no one is listening.
Thank you so much, Tony. God bless you. Easter is, for me, a time to reflect on the deaths and rebirths in my life. Finding purpose definitely helps me cope.
Easter can be a universal reset.
Can I repost this, Eli and Kitt?
Reblogged this on Radio Chick's Reflections and commented:
Reblogging this: An interview done by my friend Eli, with Mental Health Care Advocate Kitt O’Malley. 💗